Name a Strength and Make a Difference ©

One of the keys to happiness and success in life is to be able to do what you do best in life every day. And one of the greatest gifts you can give to another person is your observation and acknowledgement of their strengths in action. When you help people see themselves at their best, you help them realize that they are capable of doing great things in their lives.

My article below, “Name a Strength and Make a Difference,” makes this point and includes one of my better known stories (“you’re a good packer!”). Enjoy! And send it to the people in your life that you care about (and name one of their strengths).

Best to you,
David

Name a Strength and Make a Difference ©
2008 David J. Pollay
Show me the trunk of your car. Hand me your luggage. Step back. I’ll find a way to fit it all in. I’m a good packer.

No car, no mini-van, no SUV scares me. I can squeeze anything in no matter the vehicle. You can call my trunk-packing a sort of strength; I can do it consistently well, and I enjoy doing it. Over the years I’ve volunteered to pack the family trunk thousands of times. And I’ve been called in for the most difficult of jobs. I’m the “go-to” guy of trunk-packing.

There’s a beginning to all success stories. Here’s mine. One day my Dad was having trouble finding a place in the trunk for one last bag. As he stepped back to take a better look, I stepped forward, adjusted three bags, and slipped the final bag into place. It was like laying down the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle. My Dad turned to me with a big smile and said, “David, you’re a good packer.” I swelled with pride. I was nine years old.

Martin Seligman, co-founder of Positive Psychology, and Christopher Peterson, an expert on strengths and virtues in people, found in their research that by simply naming a strength in someone you amplify it. My dad named my strength over three decades ago. And he did more than that. Like a good leader, like a good father, my dad turned that experience into a story and told everyone. And he made sure that I could hear him telling it.

Ask your employees. Ask your children. Ask them how many times they remember that you named a strength of theirs. Ask them how often they heard you telling others about their strengths. Ask them those questions.

The best leaders know that their belief in their employees’ strengths has a positive impact on their performance. It also affects the goals their employees set. Stanford Psychology Professor Albert Bandura found in his research that “the goals held for others convey to them a belief in their capability to fulfill them.”

So the next time you notice your employees, your spouse, or your children doing something very well, consider naming the strengths you see. Watch them light up, and watch how much more they use their strengths. They’ll use it often and they’ll use it with pride. You’ll have made a difference.

Recently I stepped out of my car in the Toys R Us parking lot and saw a young boy, his mother, and his grandmother trying to squeeze his new bicycle into the family car. I stopped and offered my help. Why? Because I’m a good packer.

For ten minutes the boy and I struggled to find a way to get the bike in the car. We came close many times. Finally, the mother called the boy’s father and said that they might not be able to bring the bike home. But I wouldn’t give up. Why? Because I’m a good packer.

A few minutes later, I paused and thought we might not actually be able to get the bike in the car. I stepped back and the little boy saw my face and said, “Wait.” He reached in, grabbed the front tire, moved it ever so slightly and said to me, “Push.” And the bike slipped right into place.

I saw him light up with pride. I smiled, walked over to him, put my hand on his shoulder, and said, “You’re a good packer.”

David J. Pollay is the author of “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ (www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com).” His book, The Law of the Garbage Truck™, is due out this summer. Mr. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with North Star Writers Group, creator and host of “The Happiness Answer™” television program, an internationally sought after speaker and seminar leader, and the founder and president of TheMomentumProject.com.

Comments

[David J. Pollay]

Thank you Ali for the post!

I sure appreciate your kind words. I do love what I do, and I find my work very meaningful.

Thanks again,

David

[Ali]

...and if I would send this to yourself and name one of your strengths, I would say that you're a sincere person, David...and that makes a difference! :)

with smile,
ali