Monday Morning Momentum™: What Are You Saying to Yourself?

                                    

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!  Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David 

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What Are You Saying to Yourself?                                                              

A walk with my daughter

My daughter, Eliana (4 at the time), and I were walking through a nature preserve two years ago when she stopped, turned around, and looked right up at me and said, “Papi, what did you say?” 

I said, “Ah, nothing sweetie.” 

“But Papi, I heard you say something.”

“Oh, Eliana, I must have been talking to myself.”

And then she asked me the big question, “Papi, why were you talking to yourself?”

Why was I talking to myself?  That was a great question.  I didn’t know.  I didn’t even know that I was doing it!

While you might be smiling right now, you know you do it too.  We all do it.  If you don’t believe me, try this quick exercise.

Take a quick break and email me what you have read so far in this post.  You can reach me at david@themomentumproject.com.  Okay? 

Stop!  Now what are you saying to yourself?  “Why is he asking me to do this?  I don’t have time right now.  I don’t do exercises.  I’m not emailing a columnist.”  That’s all self-talk.  As I said, we all do it.  Everybody does. 

We talk…and we talk fast

And we talk fast.  We speak out loud at approximately 200 words per minute.  Yet we speak to ourselves at more than 1,300 words per minute.  At this rate we might have over 45,000 thoughts per day.  The problem is that many of these thoughts aren’t helpful.

What does this mean for us?  How much of what we say to ourselves helps us live a better life?  Are we more successful, and are we happier?

16 years ago my grandfather taught me that the answer can be “yes” if we choose what to say to ourselves. 

My grandfather’s example

I was visiting my grandfather in his home in Augusta, Maine.  We called him Bumpa.  He was 86. Bumpa was having a rough morning; he was not feeling well.  He had a right to feel bad; he was a survivor of three major strokes.

That morning I walked down the short hallway from the guest bedroom to the kitchen.  I stopped when I heard his voice.  I slowly peeked around the corner and I saw him sitting in his rocking chair.  He was staring at his legs as he was saying, “Legs don’t fail me now.  You can do it.  You’ve always been strong.  I have a lot to do.  Let’s go legs.  I’m getting up.”

Thirty minutes later Bumpa was outside in his backyard chopping wood.  Here was a man the doctors thought we had lost three times.  He lived to be 90 years old.

My grandfather taught me the power of self-talk. 

My best thinking

I’m at my best when I think about all the support I have, the strengths I have been given, the successes I’ve had, and the goals I have now.  I’m at my best when I choose what to think about.

And it was my four-year old daughter’s question that reminded me to choose the self-talk that will help me to live my best possible life.  Eliana also helped me remember how much I loved my grandfather. 

This week

Listen to what “you have to say” this week.  When you move from one activity to the next, make a note of your internal conversation.  For example, jot down your answers to these questions:

What do you say to yourself when…

…you wake up in the morning?

…you drive to work?

…you set your priorities for the day?

…you have to go to a meeting?

…your boss asks you to do something?

…you’re driving home from work?

…you’re getting ready for bed?

At the end of each day look back at the pattern of your self-talk.  Was it helpful or not?  And if you find that you had been saying things to yourself that did not help, start replacing them the next day with words that support, encourage, and motivate you. 

Next week, we’ll look at one of the most important things you can say to yourself. 

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family, colleagues and friends to join you on your momentum journey, send this post along to them.  Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Comments

[David J. Pollay]

Hi Raphael!

It’s great to hear from you! Thanks for your kind post; you’re a good man. And it was my pleasure getting to know you. Thanks for staying connected; it is great to have you in the Monday Morning Momentum community!

Best to you,

David

[David J. Pollay]

Hi Alberto,

Amen to your post. You summed it up so well. Thanks Alberto!

Best to you,

David

[David J. Pollay]

Hi Jim,

It’s great to hear from you! Thanks for your supportive post. I’m sure glad to have you and your community connected to our Monday Morning Momentum mission. Jim, please stay in touch. Have a great weekend!

Best to you,

David

[Raphael Coelho]

Dear David,

You are one of the most impressive persons I had the chance to meet during my AIESEC experience!!

It is great to know I can keep in touch with your sharings every Monday Morning from now on!!

THANK YOU for contributing to our mommentum!

[Alberto]

David
Thanks for your column. Talking to myself certainly affects the mood and the outlook I will have for the day. What I tell myself is what shows up. If I do not talk about it or tell it to myslef, then it does not exist for me or for anyone else. Thanks again, Alberto

[Jim King]

Mr. Pollay
I just wanted to say thank you for writing such inspiring post for all of us to share. I have a link to your blog in my blog list and I like to remind my readers to follow the postings as often as they can.

I feel that we can all make a difference if we just never stop reminding ourselves and others to be positive. Your post always seems to help get that message out.

Thanks again.
Jim King