David J. Pollay's Blog

Monday Morning Momentum™: Don’t Play Email Lottery

                                    

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!  Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David 

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Don’t Play Email LotteryÓ                                                                                   

How It Starts

After I waved goodbye to Dawn and the girls as they headed off to school, I went back into the house, grabbed my cup of tea, and sat down at the computer.  I went straight to my four email accounts and started reading all the email that had arrived over night.  Thirty minutes later, I had responded to just a third of them: I had to stop to drive to my office in time for a meeting.  But as I made my way downtown, I was still thinking about the emails I had read, but not answered.  I was not focusing my energy and creativity on my goals for the day.  I had broken my rule.

How many of you do this every day?  How many of you sit down at your computer and say, “Let’s see what I have waiting for me today?”  And when you’re honest with yourself, you catch yourself hoping that the emails are not delivering bad news or problems for you.  Most of you follow this routine from time to time, and many of you do it every day.

Other People’s Priorities

And here’s what you’re doing.  You are downloading other people’s priorities.  You go into your day without a plan.  You have not committed to an agenda.  You bow to the concerns of others, regardless of their relative importance.

Other People’s Moods

And each email comes with an attachment:  the mood of the sender.  Senders always convey their moods in their messages:  They transmit their worries, anxieties, frustrations, anger, and impatience. Thankfully, some senders also communicate joy, gratitude, optimism, and excitement.

But hoping that good news will appear each time you open your email is like playing the lottery:  You secretly hope one of the emails is holding your winning ticket number.   

Now, there’s nothing wrong with email:  It is a vital form of communication.  It allows us to connect with people all over the world inexpensively and almost instantly.

Losing Your Focus

The challenge is that if you have not outlined what you must accomplish during the day to advance your goals and dreams, you will get caught up in everyone else’s priorities.  You will push “your goals” off to another day while you handle the requests of others.  Following this strategy you will never build the momentum you need to live your best possible life.

The Impact On Others

And it’s not just about you.  When you fail to make progress in the key areas of your life, you feel frustrated and disappointed.  And when you feel this way, you create a wave of negative energy that touches many people: Your colleagues, your customers, your friends, and your family will be affected by your negative emotions.

This Week

Follow my rule instead:  Have a plan before you open your email.

Each day this week grab your morning beverage and review your goals.  And then ask these questions:

(1)    What’s important to you? 

(2)    What will help you move closer to achieving your best possible life? 

(3)    And what must you accomplish to delight your customers, and satisfy your stakeholders? 

Then look at your week and set your priorities for each day.  Then come up with a list of people you must call, and people you must email.  And decide on the best order to complete these tasks.

Then with your plan in hand, it’s safe to open your email.  You can determine if anything has arrived that trumps something on your priority list.  If it does, slide it into place.  If it does not warrant your immediate attention, wait until the end of the day to respond.

Respect your own priorities.  Believe your goals are worth pursuing.  And remember that there are people counting on you to succeed. 

Don’t play email lottery.  Set your own agenda and enjoy every day.

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family, colleagues and friends to join you on your journey, send this post along to them.  Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Change Your Seat. Change Your Life.

Everyone in life should be known for at least one quote.  I have one that I would like to share with you.  But first let me tell you a story.

Day 1

Seven years ago I attended a three-day leadership conference in San Francisco.  The first morning I arrived a few minutes early.  There must have been a hundred people in the room.  Many people were already sitting in their seats, and others were drinking coffee at the back of the room.  But all had staked a claim on a seat for the day.  There was just one chair left; I grabbed a cup of coffee and headed for it. 

The first day of the conference was good, and it was interesting to talk with the people around my table. 

Day 2

The second day I left the house a little earlier so that I could sit in another part of the room and meet new people.  The roads were pretty clear that morning; I arrived thirty minutes ahead of time.  I put my bag down on a seat at a new table.  Then I went to the back of the room to get a cup of coffee.

Watching people arrive, I noticed that they were returning to the same seats that they had been sitting in the day before.  I thought it was a bit curious, but I kept to my coffee and conversation.  When it was time to take our seats, I looked around as I walked to my chair.  And guess what I saw?  Everyone in the room was in the same seat as they had been on day one, that is, except two people:  me, and a young man who was glaring at me for taking his seat.  Out of 100 people, I was the only one who changed his seat on purpose! 

As I had planned, I learned a lot from the people around my new table.  I had another good day. 

Day 3

Day three came and my plan was the same: I left early from home so that I could arrive in time to choose a new seat in another part of the conference room.  Unfortunately, traffic that morning was bumper to bumper; my buffer time was lost on the highway.  I arrived with five minutes to spare before the session started.

I ran up the hotel stairs and opened the door to our meeting room.  And what did I see?  Everyone in the room was back in the seat they had chosen on day one, including the unhappy young man whose seat I had taken the day prior.  He was smiling at me as I settled into my original seat.  He had the grin of victory all over his face.  And the people I had met on day one – again sitting next to me – said, “Welcome home.” Everyone was so pleased that they had kept their original seat.

It was at that moment I was reminded that most people don’t like to change.  Most people prefer to stay in the same seat in life:  They would rather be comfortable than extend themselves to meet new people and try new things. 

Quote

So now it’s time for my quote.  Here it is.  “Most people sit in the same seat and expect life to come to them.  Be different.  Change your seat and you will come to life.” 

Be willing to change your perspective.  Be interested in other people.  Be open to new ideas.  The most successful people I know constantly challenge themselves.  They talk to people with different ideas and they try new things. 

So today my question to you is, “Where are you sitting?”  Better than that, “Are you going to change your seat?”

Monday Morning Momentum™: Be Happier - Let More Pass You By

                                

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!  Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David 

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Be Happier - Let More Pass You ByÓ

Many people complain

If you sit in a café long enough, you will hear people complain about almost everything.  And if you listen closely enough, the complaints are mostly about the behavior of other people. 

But, if you want to be happy…

But, if you want to be happy, you know that this is not the way to go.  You know one of the most powerful keys to happiness is to follow The Law of the Garbage Truck.  The key is to let the negative things you cannot control pass you by without taking them personally. 

This week

Do two things this week.

(1)  Make it a point to focus on what is important to you.  Don’t allow anyone or anything to distract you from what you care about. 

Try not to be bothered by any of the following:

• Bad drivers
• Rude waiters
• Poorly trained customer service representatives
• Aggressive sales people
• Insensitive colleagues
• People who don’t hold the door open for you
• Bosses who aren’t friendly
• Employees who criticize your ideas
• People on talk radio
• Negative television hosts
• Telemarketers

(2)    Who else should be on your list?  How many more people could you let pass by without taking them personally?  Add these people to your list now. 

And remember to breathe deeply each time you let a Garbage Truck pass you by this week.  And then congratulate yourself for doing it.

Invite your family, friends, and colleagues to join you.

Please post your experience this week, or email me at david@davidjpollay.com with your story. 

And if you want your family, friends, and colleagues to join you on your Monday Morning Momentum mission, send this post along to them.

Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Momentum Makes Life Better.©

Life is good.  We should be grateful for our lives every day.  We should find joy in our lives.  Believe this.  Remember this.

And momentum makes life better.

Momentum is powerful. Momentum requires more than just being “good.”  Your momentum depends on your ability to maintain what is good in your life and then build upon it.  The core of momentum is an appreciation of what you have, and a commitment to your continued growth.

Success and happiness depend on momentum.  Success and happiness begin with an understanding of what is right in your life, a desire to care for it, and a belief that you can do better.  Momentum does not allow for procrastination, backsliding, and giving up.  Momentum is all about action. 

Momentum requires you to use your resources to achieve more of what you value and enjoy. You must strive to learn more, love more, care more, try more, and experience more.  Your happiness and success rely on your positive momentum. Nineteenth century Swiss writer, Gottfried Keller said it best:  "We don't remain good if we don't always strive to become better."

Do you understand momentum?

Answer these questions to find out.

• Think about a game or contest you participated in – sports, school, or business – during your life.  Was it easier to score points when you were on a roll, or when you were just doing okay?
• Think back to when you were single (or if you’re single now, pay attention).  When were you most attractive to others?  Was it when you were dating regularly, or when you were not dating anyone.
• If you have ever been in sales, is it easier to make a sale after you have established relationships with potential customers, or when you are just meeting them for the first time?
• If you’re a parent, is it easier to get your children to talk about something that’s bothering them, or to keep them talking once they open up?
• If you’re a student, is it easier to start writing a paper, or to keep writing once you are in flow?
• If you have ever tried to lose weight, was it easier to start the diet, or to stick to it once you started losing weight?

You know the answers:  You do better when you’re already in action.  Getting started is always the hardest part.  Momentum makes life better.

If you’re competing, dating, selling, parenting, studying, or dieting, you want momentum.  You don’t wait for success to happen.  And you don’t sit on success once you have it: You maintain your success and you build upon it.  And when you have momentum you want people to know that you’re on a mission.  You want them on your team. You want their help.  You want their support.  And when you have momentum, people are more likely to help you.  And better yet, they want you on their team. 

Momentum feels good

Remember how momentum feels.  You feel powerful.  You feel great.  You feel confident.  You feel unstoppable.  And the beauty of momentum is that it is contagious.  When you achieve momentum in one area of your life, it is easier to achieve it in other areas of your life.  And when you experience momentum, the people around you benefit:  You give yourself, and everyone in your life, the best you have.

Einstein said, “Objects at rest have no momentum.” So, think about everything that is important to you.  And ask yourself, “Am I moving?” 

Remember life is good.  And momentum makes life better.  Get moving, and enjoy your best possible life.

Find Your Voice. Tap Your Strengths.

It was 1977 and I was in the sixth grade. I joined the Boy’s Choir. I really didn’t like singing in choirs, but I joined anyway. All my friends had signed up, so I did too.

I can still remember our two performances. I stood in the back row of the choir and mumbled my way through most of the songs. Why? I didn’t know all the words. So I sang the choruses and smiled a lot.

How many of us mumble and stumble through life? We just go through the motions. We’re not happy with our performance, but we continue anyway. Will we ever be good at what we’re doing? More importantly, will we ever be happy if we stick with the things we’re not passionate about?

Martin Seligman, Ph.D., of the University of Pennsylvania and Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., of Claremont Graduate University – the co-founders of Positive Psychology – wrote that people do their best when they focus on “identifying and nurturing their strongest qualities, what they own and are best at, and…find niches in which they can best live out these strengths.” Success will come to us when we discover what we enjoy doing, what natural strengths we have, and what activities we find meaningful.

Positive Psychology researcher Christopher Peterson, Ph.D., of the University of Michigan, and Dr. Seligman conducted extensive research on strengths. They developed a scientifically validated and widely used assessment tool to help people discover and learn about their strengths. The assessment is called the Values in Action Inventory of Strengths Survey (VIA-IS). The VIA-IS helps people identify what strengths are most natural to them – the strengths they use most often in their lives. Over 600,000 people throughout the world have taken the assessment. You can complete the VIA-IS Survey here.  And if you are a member of AIESEC or an alumnus of AIESEC, please click here to participate in our ongoing International Leadership Strengths research project.

When you complete the VIA-IS, you will walk away with a greater awareness of your top five strengths. You should then ask yourself two powerful questions:

1. First, how do you use your top five strengths in some way every day, and how have you used them in the past? You’ll find out that you express your strengths in many areas of your life.
2. Second, when you look back at your most significant accomplishments in your life, which of your top strengths helped you achieve those successes? You’ll begin to see a pattern in your life: You will discover that many of your greatest achievements were made possible by engaging your top strengths.

Now that we’ve talked about your strengths, what about your weaknesses? Can you forget them? The answer is “no, but.” The “but” is that you no longer should focus your energies on trying to fix your weaknesses. There’s a better answer: Look for the people who have the strengths you lack and partner with them. Focus on what you do best, and then let others do the same.

So, let other people sing in the Boy’s Choir if that’s what they love to do. As for you, find your own voice in life and express it in your own unique way.

Monday Morning Momentum™: How to Find More Time in Your Life – Take “The Morning Test” ©

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum! Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David

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How to Find More Time in Your Life – Take “The Morning Test” ©

Three years ago I learned how to find more time in my life.  Dawn and the girls were in bed.  I was tired.  I had a long day at work.  It was almost 10:00p.m. and I was headed for the couch.  I needed to watch TV.  I had to “relax” before bedtime.  I deserved it.

And then the next morning I woke up tired.  I was so tired that I was already thinking about going to bed that night.  It was obvious that I needed more sleep.  Yet every night I “needed” to relax on the couch.  I lived this stay-up-late, wake-up-tired cycle for too long.  I never fully admitted the obvious connection between my choices at night and how I felt in the morning:  That is until I created “The Morning Test.”

The Morning Test

Here’s how The Morning Test works.  Every day for one week write down everything that you do at night.  Jot down what you eat for snacks, the TV shows you watch, the radio programs you listen to, the email you read, the sites you surf, and whatever else you may do.

Then immediately after waking up the next morning – and this is important – think about what you did the night before.  Think about everything you did that still makes you happy, and what you think was a waste of time.  Write it all down.

Do this for one week and see which activities are meaningful to you, and which ones you do by force of habit.  Here’s your opportunity:  Replace those less helpful habits with activities that are gratifying to you.

The Benefits

Why is this important?  It’s because we’re always wishing we had more time to do more of what we care about.  This exercise helps us to choose at night what will serve us well the next day, and it also helps us achieve the important goals in our life. 

 

This Week

Remember to take the Morning Test each day this week. You’ll soon find an opportunity to create more time for what you really care about. And, as a result, this could lead to an important and lasting change in your life.

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family or friends to join you on your journey, send this post along to them.  Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutes, right here.

         

Speak Someone’s Language and Watch Them Grow ©

When I was in college my roommates and I decided that we needed plants to liven up our dorm suite.  So we walked to the local grocery store and went shopping.  We had two criteria:  The plants needed to look healthy, and each one had to be of a different variety.

We bought four plants and brought them home.  We put them around the suite, and then we watered them.  We decided that we would use the same size mug each time to give them their water; we wanted to get it right each time. 

Two days later we watered the plants again.  We were proud that we remembered.  But shortly afterwards three of the four plants looked a little droopy.  So we grabbed the mug and watered them all again.

Another day passed and the same three were drooping even farther, so we watered them again.  And the next day, the three plants looked even worse.  The fourth plant was doing fine; it looked as good as it did in the store.

Now we weren’t botanists, but we knew that all the plants needed water.  And the fourth plant was evidence of this; it was doing great.  But somehow the others were not fairing so well.  And then we figured it out; we knew what the problem was.  The other three plants needed even more water!  So we gave each plant a double dose of water.

And what happened to our plants?  One of the plants was as healthy as ever.  The other three plants looked in terrible shape when one of our friends visited and said, “You’re giving them too much water.”  We all said defensively in a loud chorus, “What!  All plants need water.”  And she said, “Yes, but in different amounts.  One way to know is to touch the soil.  If the soil is dry, the plant needs water.  If the soil is wet, the plant has plenty of water.”

Here’s the translation of this story to Corporate America.  We were acting like a typical manager.  We were treating our employees the same, no matter the result.  We knew how to do one thing and we poured it on when it wasn’t working.  Most managers think and do the same thing.

Managers forget that we all want people to “understand” us.  We want people to know the “real” us.  We work harder for managers who treat us as individuals and help us to be our best selves.

A number of years ago I was in a meeting with senior leaders discussing the importance of recognizing employees when they do good work.  And this is what one leader said, “I rarely give out recognition; I believe my employees work harder when I keep my positive feedback in short supply.”

Was his strategy effective?  Yes, but with only one person.  The rest of his team had individual preferences for when and how they liked to be recognized.  He wasn’t reaching the rest of his team.  But he had a deep-set belief that everyone should get the same pint-sized ration of feedback.  He eventually left the company.

You will do best when you take the time to know what brings out the strengths of your employees.  How do you know what they need?  The answer is simple.  Touch them through your questions, your interest, and your support.  They’ll tell you what they need.  So go ahead and put your same size mug of water away.

Give employees what they need to succeed.  Speak their language and watch them grow.

Monday Morning Momentum™: Focus + Humility + Questions = Momentum

Monday, May 19, 2008

Click here for an introduction to Monday Morning Momentum.

Focus + Humility + Questions = Momentumã

Let me check something out with you. Pretend for a moment that your friend, child, spouse, employee, or your boss says to you: “I would like to learn from you.  It would mean a lot to me if you would help me.” How would you feel?  My bet is that you feel good right now just thinking about the idea:  We all like to believe that we have something to offer those we care about.

People want to help us when we are humble enough to ask for help.

We demonstrate our curiosity when we seek assistance.  We telegraph to the world that we are on a search for new ways to do, see, and experience things.  In their book Character Strengths and Virtues, leading positive psychologists Martin Seligman, and Christopher Peterson point to research by psychologist Todd Kashdan of George Mason University that shows when people demonstrate curiosity, they learn more, are more engaged at work, and perform better academically.  Curiosity leads to better performance.

So, this week, let’s ask for help. Here’s our plan:

(1)    Think of two important areas in your life in which you could use some ideas, help, or input.

(2)    Write down a few questions you could ask people about these two critical areas.

(3)    Then identify three people you could approach to ask your questions. Choose a friend, a family member, and a colleague.

(4)    Finally, ask your questions.  But first tell them why you appreciate them (i.e., their perspective, ideas, their knowledge of you, or their expertise), and ask them if they would be willing to share their thoughts with you about something important to you. When they say “yes” – and they always will – then pose your questions to them.

(5)    Listen with humility.  Write down their answers. And thank them for their insights and their time.

What will happen? 

First, you will be amazed at how much people will appreciate your reaching out to them:  You will have shown respect and interest in them, and for that they will be grateful – even if they do not express it immediately. You will have deepened your relationship with them.

Second, you will be happy to have received help from people you care about and admire. And very importantly, you will have learned something valuable about an area of your life that matters deeply to you.

Your focus on what’s important to you, plus your humility, plus your questions will lead to increased momentum in your life.

Invite Your Family, Friends, and Colleagues to Join You

And if you want your colleagues, friends, and family to join you on your Monday Morning Momentum journey, send this post along to them.

Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

And click here for last week’s Monday Morning Momentum post.

What Does Your Badge Say?©

Last year I was shopping in an office supply store.  I stepped up to the check-out counter when it was my turn to pay.  The clerk behind the cash register was wearing a name badge that said, “Dane.”  And below his name read, “In Training.”

I said, “Dane, how’s your training going?”  He stopped.  He looked to his left.  He looked to his right.  Then he leaned into me and said, “I’m not actually in training anymore.” 

I started laughing!  “What?!,” I said.  “Then why are you wearing a badge that says, “In Training?!”  Here’s what he said:  “When I was in training I learned a lot more, and people were friendlier to me.” 

As I left the store and slowly walked out to my car I thought, “He’s right.  You do learn more and people are friendlier to you when you’re in training.”  Here’s why.

When you declare to the world that you are in training and that you want to learn, you become a student.  And when you tell the world that you are a student, people want to help you.  They want to teach you.  You are essentially telling other people that they have strengths, knowledge, skills, and experience that you believe are valuable and that you appreciate. 

So now I think of Dane when I catch myself acting as if I “know” something.  Rather than prove what I know to everyone, I listen and try to see what I can learn. 

People want to help people who want to learn.  So now I say to myself when I head out from home, “David, are you wearing your ‘In Training’ badge today?”

How about you?  What does your badge say?

Do What You Love. Take A Fill Year™

Do what you love.  Start exploring your interests now.  Take, what I call, a “Fill Year™.”

The goal of your Fill Year is to explore as many of your interests as possible.  The key to finding your true path in life is through exploration.  Get out and try things.  Whatever interests you, pursue it.

But, you’re busy.  You work full time.  You have children.  You have other responsibilities.  What can you do? 

I did some homework for you.  I figured out that you have the equivalent of eighteen work-weeks per year to explore your interests.  Here’s a look at the math I used:  You have thirty minutes at lunch three times per week; thirty minutes at night three times per week; one night per week; two weekend nights per month; two weekend days per month; and one week of your annual vacation time.  With a little planning – and determination – you can fill your year with many meaningful activities.

But if you are already feeling maxed out, how can you dedicate so much time for exploration?  Take my “Morning Test” to find out.  Here’s how it works.  Every night for one week write down everything that you do at lunch, and at night.  Jot down the email you read, the sites you surf, the radio programs you listen to, the TV shows you watch, and whatever else you do. 

Then immediately after waking up the next morning – and this is important – think about what you did the day before at lunch and at night.  Think about everything you did that still makes you happy, and what you think was a waste of time.  Write it all down. 

Do this for one week and see which activities are meaningful to you, and which ones you do by force of habit.  Here’s your opportunity:  Replace some of your less helpful habits with activities that are gratifying to you.

Now how do you know what is fulfilling to you?  Start by looking back at the main periods in your life:  Childhood, high school, college, jobs, marriage, children, and your career.  When were you the happiest? When were you the most successful?  What were you doing?  What were you learning?  What activities did you enjoy?  What were you reading?  What were you writing?  With whom were you spending time?  Your answers to these questions will help uncover your passions in life.

How else can you find clues to what you love to do?  Ask the people in your life what they think.  What have they seen you do well?  What have you expressed an interest in?  Ask your family.  Ask your friends.  Ask your co-workers.  Their insight might surprise you.

How can you find out what activities are available to you?  Check your local newspaper, TV and radio event calendars.  Call your local universities, museums, libraries, theatres, concert halls, hotels, chambers of commerce, local governments, and houses of worship.  Find out which associations have chapters in your area.  Get a listing of local clubs.  See what’s interesting to you and start plugging activities into your calendar. 

Some of you may be thinking that you cannot take this time away from your spouse, children, parents, friends, or co-workers.  This is where you play “Fill Year™ Matchmaking.”  Determine who would be willing to participate in some of these activities that you find interesting, and then invite them to go along with you.  They’ll appreciate the invitation, and you’ll do something fun together.  And you’ll have taken another step forward in your year of exploration.

Get excited about your future.  Take a Fill Year™ now.  Find your true path.