David J. Pollay's Blog

Monday Morning Momentum™: Hug Now. Don’t Save It.

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!  Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David

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Hug Now.  Don’t Save It. ©

Recently I arrived home from the office, and my dad was standing in the driveway.  Dad is 6’2” and wears a full beard.  Dad was talking to two pro football-sized construction workers.  As I approached them, they all turned and looked at me.  I said, “Hi Dad.  Hey guys.”  I then stepped forward, shook my dad’s hand, pulled him into me, hugged him, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  I then walked into the house.

A Family Ritual

For three generations my family has done the same thing.  We kiss and hug when we see each other.  We kiss and hug when we say goodbye.  And we don’t care who is watching.  My parents taught me through their example.  My grandmother reinforced this practice by what she said to me thirty-two years ago.

Nana’s Lesson

I was 9 years old.  It was wintertime in Milwaukee.  My family was leaving Northridge Shopping Mall after a movie.  Mom, Dad, my brother Mike, and my grandparents were there.  And I was mad at my dad.  I still have no idea why.  But I know that I was mad.  I was pouting and I wasn’t talking to him.

It was snowing that night and the temperature was below freezing.  Dad told us to wait inside the mall so that he could warm up the van and pull it up to the front door.

That’s when Nana came up to me and said, “Your father loves you and you love him.  Don’t go to bed angry at him.  Kiss and hug him before you go to bed tonight.  Tell him that you love him.  You never know when the Lord will take him from you.”

Few words have had such an impact on me as those of my grandmother that night:  “You never know when the Lord will take him from you.”

Don’t Miss Your Opportunity

Dawn and I recently attended the funeral of a colleague’s father who had passed away of a major heart attack.  His son was eulogizing him.  He said that one minute his father was talking; the next minute he was gone.  My colleague was respectful of his father and he recalled good times.  And then he said something that deeply saddened us: “I never did hear my father say that he loved me.”

My mother taught us that you hug, kiss, and say that you love someone when you wake up, when you go to bed, before you leave the house, and before you hang up the phone.

Psychology researchers have long talked about the importance of feeling a “secure attachment” to the ones you love.  You need to feel confident and secure in another’s love for you; the positive impact of this in your life is far reaching.  Demonstrating affection and saying what’s in your heart is the best way to nourish your most cherished relationships.

Tony Dungy, head coach of the Indianapolis Colts of the National Football League, lost his 18 year-old son, James, almost three years ago.  Eulogizing his son, Coach Dungy said that he had last seen his son at Thanksgiving.  They had said goodbye before James left for the airport.  Coach Dungy knew that he would see his son again soon; he did not think much about the casual way they said goodbye.

But Coach Dungy never did see his son again.  Coach Dungy said, “I never got to hug him again.  That’s one thing I’ll always think about and always remind people to do:  Hug ‘em every chance you get.”

My Dad is now 78.  He just visited me in my office.  I hugged and kissed him when he arrived.  I hugged and kissed him when he left.  My grandmother would be proud.

This Week

Take an inventory of the important people in your life.  Who do you love, but have not told recently?

Choose at least one of these important people and tell them how much they mean to you, and how much you love them.  And if it’s possible to see them in person this week, make sure to give them a hug; it could be one of the most important things you will ever do.

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family, colleagues and friends to join you on your journey, send this post along to them.  Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Monday Morning Momentum™: Be Happier - Let More Pass You By

                                

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!  Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David 

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Be Happier - Let More Pass You ByÓ

Many people complain

If you sit in a café long enough, you will hear people complain about almost everything.  And if you listen closely enough, the complaints are mostly about the behavior of other people. 

But, if you want to be happy…

But, if you want to be happy, you know that this is not the way to go.  You know one of the most powerful keys to happiness is to follow The Law of the Garbage Truck.  The key is to let the negative things you cannot control pass you by without taking them personally. 

This week

Do two things this week.

(1)  Make it a point to focus on what is important to you.  Don’t allow anyone or anything to distract you from what you care about. 

Try not to be bothered by any of the following:

• Bad drivers
• Rude waiters
• Poorly trained customer service representatives
• Aggressive sales people
• Insensitive colleagues
• People who don’t hold the door open for you
• Bosses who aren’t friendly
• Employees who criticize your ideas
• People on talk radio
• Negative television hosts
• Telemarketers

(2)    Who else should be on your list?  How many more people could you let pass by without taking them personally?  Add these people to your list now. 

And remember to breathe deeply each time you let a Garbage Truck pass you by this week.  And then congratulate yourself for doing it.

Invite your family, friends, and colleagues to join you.

Please post your experience this week, or email me at david@davidjpollay.com with your story. 

And if you want your family, friends, and colleagues to join you on your Monday Morning Momentum mission, send this post along to them.

Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Monday Morning Momentum™: It’s Your Turn to Let a Garbage Truck Pass By

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum! Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David

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It's Your Turn to Let a Garbage Truck Pass ByÓ

When you let Garbage Trucks pass you by, you become happier and more successful.  And when you stop spreading garbage to others, your relationships improve, your business grows, and your family thrives.  If you have not yet read “Beware of Garbage Trucks!ä - The Law of the Garbage Truckä,” read it here.

Last week our Monday Morning Momentumä mission was to observe someone else stopping the Cycle of Garbage by letting a Garbage Truck pass them by.  Now it’s your turn:  Help stop the Cycle of Garbage and feed the Cycle of Love.

This Week

Look for at least one opportunity to let a Garbage Truck pass you by.  And then do it: Let the Garbage Truck pass by.  Then learn from your experience by answering these three questions:

·       How did it feel to let the Garbage Truck pass you by?

·       How did you benefit by letting the Garbage Truck pass you by?

·       How did you help your business and your family by letting the Garbage Truck pass you by?

Congratulate Yourself

Remember to congratulate yourself for letting a Garbage Truck pass by.  Feel good in knowing that you stopped the Cycle of Garbage and fed the Cycle of Love.

Please post your experience this week, or email me at david@davidjpollay.com with your story.  I want to recognize you.  I may include your story (with your permission) in my syndicated newspaper column, or in my book due out this fall, Beware of Garbage Trucks! – The Law of the Garbage Truck™.

Together we can make the world a more beautiful place.

Thanks for your help!

Invite your family, friends, and colleagues to join you.

And if you want your family, friends, and colleagues to join you on your Monday Morning Momentum mission, send this post along to them.

Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Monday Morning Momentum™: Spread Love, Not Garbage!™

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum! Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David

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Spread Love, Not Garbage!™

Based on The Law of the Garbage Truck™

I recently took my little girls, five-year-old Eliana and four-year-old Ariela, into Blockbuster Video to rent the movie Ratatouille. We found the movie on the shelf and took it to the counter to pay. And then we waited. And we waited.

My girls and I waited as the sales clerk handled a customer service issue on the telephone. The sales clerk signaled with her eyes that she knew that we were there. Her message was that she would help us as soon as possible. And so we waited. 

I could tell that the customer on the telephone was being difficult and would not let the sales clerk off the phone. This was putting even more pressure on her because she was the only one working in the store and customers were lining up behind us. 

So I turned away from the counter and started talking to my girls about the popcorn we would make when we got home.  Just then the sales clerk hung up the telephone and invited me to step forward. 

“I apologize for the wait,” she said.

I said, “It sounds like you had a tough customer on the line.”

She said, “Yeah, but that’s OK. It’s all right.”

I knew she was frustrated, but she was doing her best not to let it show. I handed her my money for the rental. She put the movie in a bag and handed it to me. I said thanks, and my girls and I walked to the exit.

Stopping the Cycle of Garbage.  Feeding the Cycle of Love.

And before we reached the door, my little girls started to debate who would get to carry the bag. I stopped. I knew the drill. I had to break the impasse. When I was just about to tell them how we would decide who would have the honor of carrying the bag this time, the sales clerk came out from behind the counter, and walked over to us. She was carrying another bag in her hand with a catalogue tucked inside. The sales clerk leaned down, smiled at my girls, and said, “I have another bag for you girls. One of you can carry the new bag and one of you can carry the bag with the movie. You both get to carry a bag. How’s that?” 

My girls looked at each other, smiled, and said, “Ohhhhh…thank you.” The sales clerk gave me a big smile, and said, “I have two girls. I know about these things.” She proudly walked back to her next customer. And I walked my girls to the car feeling grateful.

Our sales clerk had a choice to make. She could either have fed the Cycle of Garbage in the world or she could have fed the Cycle of Love. Our sales clerk chose to stop the garbage and feed the love. She followed The Law of the Garbage Truck. She let a difficult experience with a customer pass her by. She focused on what she could control. With that decision, our sales clerk made the world a more beautiful place. 

Good people like my sales clerk are all around us. Let’s find them together. Let’s acknowledge them and recognize them.

This Week’s Monday Morning Momentum Project

This week let’s help stop the Cycle of Garbage and feed the Cycle of Love.  Look for at least one instance that someone in your life let a Garbage Truck pass him or her by.  Then take note of three things:

(1)    How did it help the individual to let the Garbage Truck pass by?

(2)    How did you benefit when that individual let the Garbage Truck pass by?

(3)    And how did the world become a better place when that individual decided to let the Garbage Truck pass by?

Finally, remember to tell the person who stopped the Cycle of Garbage how much you appreciate what he or she did.

Please post your experience this week, or email me at david@davidjpollay.com with your story.  I want to recognize the people who are stopping the Cycle of Garbage and feeding the Cycle of Love.  I may include your story (with your permission) in my syndicated newspaper column, or in my book due out this fall, Beware of Garbage Trucks! – The Law of the Garbage Truck™. 

Together we can make the world a more beautiful place.

Thanks for your help! 

Invite Your Family, Friends, and Colleagues to Join You

And if you want your colleagues, friends, and family to join you on your Monday Morning Momentum mission, send this post along to them.

Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

Monday Morning Momentum™: How to Find More Time in Your Life – Take “The Morning Test” ©

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum! Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David

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How to Find More Time in Your Life – Take “The Morning Test” ©

Three years ago I learned how to find more time in my life.  Dawn and the girls were in bed.  I was tired.  I had a long day at work.  It was almost 10:00p.m. and I was headed for the couch.  I needed to watch TV.  I had to “relax” before bedtime.  I deserved it.

And then the next morning I woke up tired.  I was so tired that I was already thinking about going to bed that night.  It was obvious that I needed more sleep.  Yet every night I “needed” to relax on the couch.  I lived this stay-up-late, wake-up-tired cycle for too long.  I never fully admitted the obvious connection between my choices at night and how I felt in the morning:  That is until I created “The Morning Test.”

The Morning Test

Here’s how The Morning Test works.  Every day for one week write down everything that you do at night.  Jot down what you eat for snacks, the TV shows you watch, the radio programs you listen to, the email you read, the sites you surf, and whatever else you may do.

Then immediately after waking up the next morning – and this is important – think about what you did the night before.  Think about everything you did that still makes you happy, and what you think was a waste of time.  Write it all down.

Do this for one week and see which activities are meaningful to you, and which ones you do by force of habit.  Here’s your opportunity:  Replace those less helpful habits with activities that are gratifying to you.

The Benefits

Why is this important?  It’s because we’re always wishing we had more time to do more of what we care about.  This exercise helps us to choose at night what will serve us well the next day, and it also helps us achieve the important goals in our life. 

 

This Week

Remember to take the Morning Test each day this week. You’ll soon find an opportunity to create more time for what you really care about. And, as a result, this could lead to an important and lasting change in your life.

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family or friends to join you on your journey, send this post along to them.  Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutes, right here.

         

Monday Morning Momentum™ - Your “To Thank” List ©

Monday, May 26, 2008
Click here for an introduction to Monday Morning Momentum™.

Your “To Thank” List ã

The most common list people carry with them every day is a “to do” list.  It tells them how they will spend their time, and what they must accomplish.  In some ways you could also view a “to do” list as a scorecard:  Your success is determined by how many of the items you get through.

A New List:  The “To Thank” List

Seventeen years ago I began to carry another list with me.  It’s called my “to thank” list.  I learned that my successes were not possible without help from my family, friends, and colleagues.  And I also realized that I counted on their friendship and love during my most trying times.  So I began to carry a “to thank” list.

“Permanent” Members

My “to thank” list includes two groups of people:  The “permanent members,” and the people who come in and out of my life.  My family, friends, and colleagues are on my permanent list:  I thank them at the start of each day during my morning gratitude ritual.  And I speak with them often.  I cherish these people, and I would not want to live without them.

“Guest” Members

And there is my “guest member” list to thank.  These are the individuals who may not be a permanent part of my life, but they sure are helping me now.  Each week I make sure to thank these people for the role they play in my life.

Good for your Happiness.  Good for your Business.

My day is not complete until I have acknowledged my “to thank” list.  I consider this one of my most important “to do’s” every day:  When I thank the people who make my good life possible, I accomplish something very important.

Research conducted by Robert Emmons at the University of California at Davis demonstrates that we enjoy better relationships, better health, and greater happiness when we increase our gratitude.  And if you’re in business, The Gallup organization has found in their research that when employees receive recognition every seven days, they are more engaged and more productive.

Your List

What about your “to thank” list?  Is it written down?  Do you carry it with you?  Can you recite it by memory?

This week make it your Monday Morning Momentum project and create your “to thank” list.  Start by writing down all your permanent members.  Then add your guest members to your list.

Who are you going to thank this week?

Invite Your Family, Friends, and Colleagues to Join You

And if you want your colleagues, friends, and family to join you on your Monday Morning Momentum mission, send this post along to them.

Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

Monday Morning Momentum™: Focus + Humility + Questions = Momentum

Monday, May 19, 2008

Click here for an introduction to Monday Morning Momentum.

Focus + Humility + Questions = Momentumã

Let me check something out with you. Pretend for a moment that your friend, child, spouse, employee, or your boss says to you: “I would like to learn from you.  It would mean a lot to me if you would help me.” How would you feel?  My bet is that you feel good right now just thinking about the idea:  We all like to believe that we have something to offer those we care about.

People want to help us when we are humble enough to ask for help.

We demonstrate our curiosity when we seek assistance.  We telegraph to the world that we are on a search for new ways to do, see, and experience things.  In their book Character Strengths and Virtues, leading positive psychologists Martin Seligman, and Christopher Peterson point to research by psychologist Todd Kashdan of George Mason University that shows when people demonstrate curiosity, they learn more, are more engaged at work, and perform better academically.  Curiosity leads to better performance.

So, this week, let’s ask for help. Here’s our plan:

(1)    Think of two important areas in your life in which you could use some ideas, help, or input.

(2)    Write down a few questions you could ask people about these two critical areas.

(3)    Then identify three people you could approach to ask your questions. Choose a friend, a family member, and a colleague.

(4)    Finally, ask your questions.  But first tell them why you appreciate them (i.e., their perspective, ideas, their knowledge of you, or their expertise), and ask them if they would be willing to share their thoughts with you about something important to you. When they say “yes” – and they always will – then pose your questions to them.

(5)    Listen with humility.  Write down their answers. And thank them for their insights and their time.

What will happen? 

First, you will be amazed at how much people will appreciate your reaching out to them:  You will have shown respect and interest in them, and for that they will be grateful – even if they do not express it immediately. You will have deepened your relationship with them.

Second, you will be happy to have received help from people you care about and admire. And very importantly, you will have learned something valuable about an area of your life that matters deeply to you.

Your focus on what’s important to you, plus your humility, plus your questions will lead to increased momentum in your life.

Invite Your Family, Friends, and Colleagues to Join You

And if you want your colleagues, friends, and family to join you on your Monday Morning Momentum journey, send this post along to them.

Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

And click here for last week’s Monday Morning Momentum post.

Monday Morning Momentum™ - Be a Day Starter™

Monday, May 12, 2008
Click here for an introduction to Monday Morning Momentum.

Be a Day Starter™
This week’s focus: At home

My wife, Dawn, usually wakes up before I do. Sometimes she wakes up by alarm, and other times by the gentle tugging of one of our two little girls, Eliana (5) and Ariela (4). Then around 6:30a.m., it’s my turn. This is how I wake up: Dawn hugs me and whispers good morning until I wake up. It’s a beautiful way to begin a day; I am loved awake. Dawn starts my day.

And then I continue the cycle. I step out of bed and head upstairs to my little girls’ rooms. I quietly walk into their bedrooms and wake them up with a big hug. It is one of my favorite parts of the day. I start their day.

How do you wake up in the morning? What is your first interaction of the day? What do you do and say when you first see someone in the morning?

Be A Day Starter in Your Family

If you’re not already beginning your day as warmly and positively as you can, be a Day Starter for one week: When you wake up in the morning express your love with your words and your actions.

If you normally complain right after you get up, express your love first. If you have to begin your day with a cup of coffee in the morning, do it after you have hugged and kissed everyone (And if you don’t normally hug and kiss your family, let me know what impact it has on your life when you do.). Suspend your normal wake-up habits for one week. Be a Day Starter at home.

Be A Day Starter with Your Roommates

If you live with roommates, be the first to greet everyone. Be the first to smile. Make the coffee. Offer to make their breakfast when you make yours. Demonstrate your interest in them. Start their day.

Be A Day Starter if You Live Alone

And if you live alone, call someone you care about. Email a kind note to a friend. Exercise with friends, or grab a cup of coffee with them. Start someone’s day.

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family or friends to join you on your journey, send this post along to them.

Have a great week, and let me know how it goes.

Monday Morning Momentum™

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!

Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.

Momentum makes life better.™

Thanks for being here.

David J. Pollay

David J. Pollay’s Blog

I’m glad you’re here!

Thanks for visiting my blog. And thank you for your interest in my work. I love what I do, and I am grateful for your support.

My mission is to help you enjoy every day, do what you love, and make a difference™. I want you to be successful in your career, in your business, and in your life.

Subscribe to the blog and catch my posts throughout the week. And post your comments; I respond to each one!

And make sure to give your week a kick-start with my Monday Morning Momentum™ posts. Momentum makes life better!

I will work hard for you each week; I want my posts to help you keep momentum in your life. If you like my posts, share them with the people you care about: Help spread the word. Together, we can make the world a more beautiful place!

My best to you,

David

David J. Pollay
Author of The Law of the Garbage Truck™
www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com
www.themomentumproject.com