Turn off the Siren and Forgive.
Monday Morning Momentum™ with David J. Pollay – October 13, 2008
Do you know that overwhelming feeling when a police siren goes off right behind you? You immediately feel the pounding of your heart in your chest and throat. You think, “What did I do? Was I driving over the speed limit? Did I go through a red light? Was I swerving? Did I cut someone off?” Most of us know this experience. And we are always relieved when it turns out that we are not the intended target of the police officer.
Getting pulled over
Sixteen years ago I heard a siren blaring behind me … and it was for me! I was in
My mom was in the front seat, and my dad in the back. I had taken my parents to
A harsh judgment
I rolled down my window when the police officer arrived at the side of our car. He said in Spanish, “You will come to the police station. You broke the law.” I spoke Spanish, so I responded, “What did I do?” He said, “You made a wrong turn.”
I knew this was not good: You never want a run-in with the police.
I pleaded with the officer, “I am so sorry. I did not see a sign. I’m showing my parents beautiful
My parents were echoing my plea, “por favor senor, por favor senor.” His stare was steady. He did not move. He was not budging. “No, you will come with me,” he said.
Making me pay
I made a mistake and this officer was going to make me pay. His judgment was my jury, and the price to be paid was down at the station. That is until two middle-aged women walking nearby took up our case. They said, “How can you take a nice tourist and his parents to jail because of a minor and innocent mistake.” The women continued, “Don’t give our country a bad name. Be forgiving and let them go.” He stared at the women as they spoke. Then he turned his gaze on us. And with the flip of his hand, he said, “Go.”
In a release of intense emotion, we thanked the officer profusely. We then put our hands together in a prayer-like fashion and said thank you to the kind women who helped us.
Have you been unfairly judged?
How many times in your life have you felt unfairly judged? You did something unintentionally that was blown out of proportion. Your mistake damned you to a judgment that you were a bad person: You were viewed as insensitive, uncaring, and unkind. And while you regretted whatever you had done, you felt violated because the judgment seemed so unbalanced: Your good intentions, your kind heart, and your normally good behavior were not even being considered. You felt like I did in my car when the police officer pulled me over and said, “You will come to the station. You broke the law.”
This is how we feel when other people do not let our small infractions pass them by. When they decide instead that we are bad people, we feel abused.
Make the world better … offer “real-time forgiveness™”
And this is what we do to others when we damn them for their fleeting mistakes, rather than letting them go with what I call “real-time forgiveness™.” We make the world a better place when we forsake our judgments and afford others our forgiveness.
This week
Observe yourself at home, at work, and in your community when people make “minor” mistakes. Notice what you say about them to yourself and others. Do you judge others the way you would like to be judged, or is your judgment too quick and too harsh?
Do two things in particular this week.
(1) Follow The Law of the Garbage Truck™ and let the things you cannot control pass you by.
(2) Give the people you know a break and let their mistakes pass you by. Focus on what’s good about them, rather than turn on your siren.
And pay attention this week to how you feel about yourself and others after you offer “real-time forgiveness™.”
Remember to let me know how it goes for you!
Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You
And if you want your family, colleagues and friends to join you on your Monday Morning Momentum™ journey, send this post along to them. Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!
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