David J. Pollay's Blog

Even in Tragedy: The Power of Positive Triggers

Even in Tragedy: The Power of Positive Triggers

You know my “Sticker Story” (Read it here if you don’t.)  You understand the power of positive emotion: It can help you in most every circumstance in life, even in tragedy.

A Brave Example

In a New York Times article, “Survivors In China Sift Rubble for the Past,” Edward Wong wrote about the survivors of the Chinese earthquake and how they were trying to piece their lives back together.  He wrote:

Sang Yuping spreads out a half-dozen photographs on a mattress in the tent that was given to her by the government.  Across the road lie the remains of her one-story home.  Long wooden planks protrude from the pile at every angle like whale bones.

There on the mattress is a photo of her daughter, her son and his wife.  It is April. They are smiling and dressed in Tibetan robes and dancing at a festival at a primary school here, weeks before the school is to collapse and kill most of the children inside.

“This is the thing I was happiest to see,” said Ms. Sang, 54, a corn and soybean farmer.  “I lost everything in the earthquake, and when I found these photos, I felt better.  Because from these photos, I can see what life was like before the earthquake.”

She added, “I look at these photos when I’m sad.”

In the aftermath of a horrific tragedy that no one should ever have to face, Sang Yuping teaches us again about the power of what I call “Positive Triggers.”  Her brave example reminds us that there is always something available to us to help give us courage and lift our spirits.

What Are Your Positive Triggers?

What positive triggers do you have available to you to help you make it through the worst of times and to thrive during the best of times?  Use Positive Triggers everyday to help you live your best possible life.

My prayers are with Sang Yuping and with all those that are suffering around the world.

My “Sticker Story” on YouTube

Do you know my “Sticker Story?”  I tell this story in my speeches and seminars to help people understand the power of positive emotion in their lives. 

Recently I told the story in an interview on the Google/YouTube news program, The Watercooler Diaries.  The show is hosted by Kate Bohner, a former CNBC Journalist and co-author with Donald Trump of the best-selling book, The Art of the Comeback.  Kate did a two-part series on The Momentum Project and my work.  The program is just about 4 minutes long.

You can watch Part I here.

Let me know what you think.  And if you’d like to post a comment and rate Kate’s program, click here.

P.S.  You can read my original Sticker Story and the Power of Positive Emotion here.  Make sure to tell me if you need some stickers!  Have a wonderful day!

Baby Crying on a Plane? Turn a Negative to a Positive.©

The plane was full. My seat was 22C. To my surprise there was no one beside me and no one behind me. I felt like I had won the lottery of airplane seating. You know the feeling. You can spread out. You can recline without bothering anyone. You can even use two tray tables!

I was flying to Chicago to present one of my corporate seminars. I needed to concentrate on reviewing my program. The peace and quiet would be great. I immediately opened my bag and began to work. The flight attendants were readying the plane for takeoff when it happened.

“You’re in 23C,” I heard a flight attendant say. And just as I looked up I heard the increasingly loud cries of a baby. A mother and her upset baby girl were coming my way. Right behind me was the seat 23C.

Five minutes later the baby’s cry turned into a wail and her little legs were kicking my seat. I couldn't work with such distraction.

There were no answers to my questions: “Why does the little girl have to kick my seat? Isn’t there a way to stop the baby from crying? And why of all places on the plane do they have to sit right behind me!?” I started searching for what I could say, or what I should do. There was nowhere for me to go.

When Your Road Turns Negative Create a Fork in Your Path

Then I smiled. I realized I actually had a choice. I could either see the situation as a dead-end negative, or I could see the situation in another way. I could find another road out and take it. And I did. In that moment I found another way to look at the situation.

I now call it “my fork.”

I thought of my own children. I started to laugh when I thought that Eliana, 4, and Ariela, 3, had done their share of crying and seat-kicking in airplanes, as hard as we tried to stop it! So I turned the baby’s crying and seat-kicking into a reminder that I have two wonderful little girls of my own. Each time the little girl cried or kicked my seat, I felt grateful for my daughters.

Sure I would have preferred the flight to be quieter, but guess what? I was able to work because I became quieter inside. I replaced the negative emotion I was feeling with gratitude for my own children. Psychologist Barbara Frederickson at the University of North Carolina observed how inducing positive emotions in people following a negative experience loosens the vice grip that the negative event holds psychologically. She also found that people bounced back faster physiologically — their cardiovascular activity slowed.

When we landed in Chicago I stood up and turned to look at the mother and her child. She smiled a little nervously at me and started to apologize for her daughter’s crying. I stopped her. I pulled out my wallet, opened it, and handed it to her. I pointed to the picture of my two little red-headed daughters. I said, “These are my little girls. They’re wonderful. And they cry too. Your daughter is beautiful. Congratulations.” She smiled and said, “Thank you.” I smiled and left the plane feeling good (something I wouldn't have thought possible when the crying and kicking began).

So the next time a situation seems to be a frustrating dead-end, ask yourself, “What’s my fork?” There’s almost always another road you can take.

David J. Pollay is the author of “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ (www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com).” His book, The Law of the Garbage Truck™, is due out this summer, and you can read his blog each week. Mr. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ DVD and television program, an internationally sought after speaker, founder and president of The Momentum Project.

I Got Stickered!™ Strategy

Hi Everyone,
I recently wrote that there are times when a Garbage Truck is so big it is hard for you to get out of the way. And so you might get hit, or at least grazed by a Garbage Truck.

Here is my strategy for a quick recovery. Enjoy it!

And let me know what your “Stickers” are. What are your Positive Triggers™?

My best to you,
David

Let Positive Triggers™ Turn on Your Best Self ©
copyright 2007 David J. Pollay
One day last year I was sitting in my office, by myself, and I wasn’t feeling good. Yes, it’s true. I research, write and speak about Positive Psychology, but I admit it, I wasn’t having a good day.

Here’s my first question: Where do you look when you’re feeling bad? Most of us look down. And that’s what I was doing in my office; I was looking down at the floor. And then I started laughing! I realized that Ariela and Eliana, my 2 and 3 year old little girls, had put stickers all over my shoes. Somehow they slipped them on when I was kissing my wife Dawn goodbye before I left the house that morning. Just thinking about my little girls slipping stickers on my shoes without my knowing made me laugh. But then I laughed even harder when I thought, “Where had I been all morning with stickers stuck all over my shoes?!” It was at that moment I got it.

The stickers my little girls had put on my shoes were a Positive Trigger™ for me. They instantly made me feel good. So here's my second question: Where do you look when you're feeling good? You look up! And that's what I did in my office; I looked up and my day was reset. I had a second chance to make my day a good one. I was experiencing positive emotion.

Research studies from around the world have confirmed the power of positive emotion. Positive psychology researcher Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina, best known for her “Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotion,” found in her research that positive emotions widen your attention, they increase your intuition, and they increase your resilience to adversity.

Alice Isen, a psychology researcher at Cornell University, demonstrated that when you experience positive emotion, you are more kind, generous, and helpful. Isen also found that you’re more creative and better able to solve problems requiring “ingenuity and innovation.”

Neuropsychology researcher at the University of Wisconsin, Richard Davidson, discovered that positive emotions help boost your immune system. And at least three studies have shown that there is a strong connection between a longer life and experiencing frequent positive emotion.

Here's my takeaway. If you are being chased by a bear in the forest, you should feel plenty of negative emotion! As my grandmother used to say, "Run like the dickens!" Otherwise, positive emotions help you think better and they help you build better relationships with others. People prefer to be around curious and creative people, more than around people who always seem to be running away from bears! And I’ll bet, if you ask the people in your life, they’ll tell you that when you’re experiencing positive emotion, you do better work, you’re a better leader, you’re a better spouse, and you’re a better friend. I know that I’m a better dad to two little girls when I’m experiencing positive emotion.

So, what are your positive triggers? What makes you smile? What makes you laugh? What puts you in a creative mood? What triggers your passion, excitement, and hope? For some of us it's looking at pictures of our loved ones. Some of us listen to a favorite song. Others go for a quick walk, or do a little dance. Some read a short, funny story. Others remind themselves of their goals. Take a moment to think about the things that trigger your positive emotions.

Think of it this way. When you enter a dark room, what do you do? You reach for the light switch. Because you know when you flip it, just like that, you’ll have light. So what's your light switch? What turns on your positive emotions? What positive triggers will help you look up when you're feeling down?

Need some stickers? 

David J. Pollay is the author of “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™. Visit www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com to join the No Garbage Trucks! Revolution. His book, The Law of the Garbage Truck™, is due out this summer. Mr. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with North Star Writers Group, creator and host of “The Happiness Answer™” television program, an internationally sought after speaker and seminar leader, and the founder and president of TheMomentumProject.com.