David J. Pollay's Blog

Gratitude Friday: Thanks Gove-Siebold Group

The Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ mission is only possible with the help of active members of the No Garbage Trucks!™ community.  Together we are making the world a more beautiful place!

A Special Thanks This Week

I want to say a special “thank you!” this week to Steve Siebold.  Steve is the president of the Gove-Siebold Group.  He founded his company with the late Bill Gove, considered in the U.S. to be the father of professional speaking.  Steve runs a great speakers training program called the Bill Gove Speech Workshop:  I took the program a few years ago; it is excellent.  He also is a former professional tennis player and an expert on Mental Toughness.  Steve recently wrote a book on the subject: 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class. 

Steve, and his wife, Dawn, have been very supportive of my work with The Law of the Garbage Truck.  They began helping me spread the word about my work soon after we met five years ago.  They have been great about getting our No Garbage Trucks! message out to corporations and individuals around the world.  I am grateful for their support!

Join the Team!

I will continue to highlight the work of an active member of our No Garbage Trucks! community each week. I want to recognize all the good folks who are helping spread the Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ message.  Email me at [email protected] or Chris at [email protected] if you know of more good folks sharing our message. 

And if you are interested in re-printing one of my columns, let us know. 

Thanks for your continued support and involvement!

Have A Wonderful Weekend!

Enjoy your friends and family this weekend! 

See you back here in a couple days for Monday Morning Momentum™!

Best to you,

David

Monday Morning Momentum™: Who Do You Run To?

                                     

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!  Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David

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Who Do You Run To? Ó

My big day in 5th Grade

It was 1976.  I was in the fifth grade.  The fifty-yard dash record for Lake Bluff Elementary School in Shorewood, Wisconsin was set in the mid 1950s.  I had a chance to break it.  I walked past my classmates and stepped up to the starting line.  I looked at my gym teacher, Mr. (Buddy) Wolf.  He blew his whistle and I took off running.  I pumped my legs and arms as fast as I could.  6.5 seconds later I leaned into the finish line and I heard the click of Mr. Wolf’s stop watch.  I turned around just as fast as I could to hear Mr. Wolf say: “You just broke the school record!”

My class burst into applause!  I jogged back to everyone.  My buddies slapped me on the back and punched me in the arm.  I was in fifth grade heaven!  And then my thoughts turned to lunchtime.  I wanted to get home to tell Mom, and call Dad at work.

I wanted to share my good news

One period later the lunch bell rang.  I sprinted out of the classroom, down the stairs, out the side door, and ran six blocks to my home.  I opened the back door of the house, turned into the kitchen, and saw Mom plating up a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup.  I kissed Mom, and then I told her all about the race, the record, and my classmates cheering.  She asked me to tell the whole story from start to finish, with every detail included.  So, I acted out what happened.  She clapped.  We laughed.  She hugged me.  And then I called Dad and relived the whole experience.  He was thrilled for me!  It was one of the best days of my life.

Who do you run to?

Now, who do you run to in your life?  Who helps you celebrate your achievements?  And why do you run to these special people?  Why are they the first on your list?  What about these individuals attracts you to them?

The research

UCLA psychology researcher Shelly Gable, University of Rochester psychology researcher Harry Reis, and their colleagues discovered that there are four principal ways people respond to the good news of others, and only one of them makes a positive difference in a relationship.

Actively and Constructively:  They’re “enthusiastic,” they’re “almost more happy and excited than I am,” and “they ask lots of questions.”

Passively and Constructively:  They try “not to make a big deal out of it, but are happy for me,” or they “say little, but I know they are happy for me.”

Actively and Destructively:  They “often find a problem with it,” or they “point out the potential downsides of the good event.”

Passively and Destructively:  They “seem disinterested,” they don’t care much, or they don’t “pay much attention to me.”

Gable and Reis’s research, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, uncovered that only people who respond actively and constructively to your good news have a measurably positive impact on your enthusiasm, joy and happiness for life.  They further discovered that people who receive active and constructive feedback in close personal relationships report higher relationship well-being as indicated by measures of intimacy and marital satisfaction. 

Who runs to you?

So, think about the people you love and care about.  Do your children run to you with good news?  Does your spouse?  Do your friends?  Do your employees? 

Think of the opportunities that you have to help bring out the best in the people you care about.  Think about the joy you can amplify in their lives when you respond actively and constructively to their good news.  And like my Mom and Dad did for me, think about the lasting memories you are helping create for the people you love.

Be there for the people you care about.  Let your loved ones run to you.

This Week

(1)  Think about the people “you run to” with your good news.  Take a moment this week to thank them for always being there for you.  They will appreciate it deeply, and you will reinforce your most important relationships.

(2)  This week look for opportunities to “be there” for the people you love.  Show them with your interest, attention, and enthusiasm that you want to hear their good news. Show them that you are someone they can run to in life.

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family, colleagues and friends to join you on your momentum journey, send this post along to them.  Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Gratitude Friday: North Star Writers Group

The Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ mission is only possible with the help of active members of the No Garbage Trucks!™ community.  Together we are making the world a more beautiful place!

A Special Thanks This Week

I want to say a special “thank you!” this week to Dan and Angie Calabrese.  They are the owners of North Star Writers Group, a company that syndicates twenty weekly columnists to newspapers across North America. 

Dan is the co-founder of North Star Writers Group.  He is a veteran newspaper and magazine journalist and opinion writer.  Angie heads up editor relations for the company. 

Over a year ago North Star Writers Group picked up my column, The Happiness Answer™.  I am grateful to Dan and Angie.  They work hard for their writers.  And I know that they have helped spread the No Garbage Trucks!™ message. 

Please go to www.northstarwriters.com and take a look.  North Star Writers Group selects its columnists “…for their fresh, engaging perspective on real issues – political, family, social, economic, moral…and many others.”  I think you’ll find the work of my fellow columnists thought provoking and enjoyable. 

I am grateful to be a part of the North Star Writers Group family!

Join the Team!

I will continue to highlight the work of an active member of our No Garbage Trucks! community each week. I want to recognize all the good folks who are helping spread the Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ message.  Email me at [email protected] or Chris at [email protected] if you know of more good folks sharing our message. 

And if you are interested in re-printing one of my columns, let us know. 

Thanks for your continued support and involvement!

Have A Wonderful Weekend!

Enjoy your friends and family this weekend! 

See you back here in a couple days for Monday Morning Momentum™!

Best to you,

David

Monday Morning Momentum™: Stay In the Game Long Enough to Succeed ©

                                     

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!  Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David

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Stay in the Game Long Enough to Succeed Ó

Your dreams

Many people give up on their dreams.  They face a challenge, or a series of setbacks, and then they question their ability to succeed.  The payoff for their effort seems too far away to justify the frustration and disappointment they are experiencing today.  But what if they hung in there just a little bit longer?  Could the success they are striving for be just around the corner?

27 years ago

A high school friend of mine, Big John, recently reminded me of an event that took place twenty-seven years ago in our high school gym.  He wrote about it in our high school anniversary alumni program.  Big John said it was one of his best high school memories.  It’s a simple story about what can happen when you stay in the game.

I was a sophomore in high school when I joined the Saturday morning basketball league.  I played on my friend Sal’s team.  And we had a good enough season to play for the championship against Johnny Malo’s (all names are changed for this story) team – the team that taunted us all week before the game that they had a big plan to shut us down.

Well, championship Saturday came and their “big plan” was working…on me!  I was having my worst game of the season; I couldn’t make a basket.  It was the rest of the team that kept us in the game.

So, it came down to the last ten seconds of the game and we were tied.   And who had the ball?  Johnny Malo.

Johnny Malo took the ball down court, passed it to Frank, who dribbled around two of our guys, put up a jump shot, and with one second remaining, he made it!  We were down by two, and Johnny Malo was jumping up and down like he was a contestant on the “The Price Is Right!”

Our last chance

So with one second left on the clock, we took our last timeout and huddled around Sal to hear his plan.  And this was what he said, “Throw it to the open guy.”  “What?!,” I said.  “What kind of plan is that?!  Throw it down to Big John.”  See Big John was the only one of us over six feet tall and he was a good ballplayer.  But, then Sal said, “Nahh, throw it to the open guy.”

So we ran back on the court and Earl stood on the side trying to pass the ball in bounds.  I ran to the far corner of the court to give Big John as much room as possible; I still wanted him to get the pass.  And what do you think Frank did?  Correct.  He threw the ball to me:  the guy farthest from the basket, and the one who only made two baskets all game long.

The shot

So I jumped high to catch the pass, grabbed it with two hands, swung the ball in front of me, and let it fly!

The gym was quiet as we all watched the ball arc high and toward the hoop.  And then as the ball started descending in the direction of the basket the silence of the crowd was replaced with a rising chorus of “ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeaaaaahhh!  The ball went in!

We couldn’t believe it – a three pointer to win the game and the championship!  The place went nuts!

And twenty-seven years later Big John wrote about this moment in our alumni program.  We both knew that I had wanted to take myself out of that game.  I had lost my confidence; I thought I had already taken enough shots.  But I stayed in the game and I was given one more opportunity to make one of the most memorable shots of my life.

I learned that you have to stay in the game long enough to succeed.

What game are you playing in?  Your shot may be just around the corner.

This week

Look at all of your most important projects.  Which ones matter the most to you?  Which ones do you consider critical to your success and happiness?

All of us have given up on something at some time in our lives.  The question this week is whether or not you are going to stick it out with what means the most to you in your life?

This week identify one dream you will not give up on.  What is it?  Write it down.  Carry it in your wallet, or put it in your purse.  Keep it in your planner.  And tell the people you love.

Decide to stay in this important game long enough to succeed.

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family, colleagues and friends to join you on your momentum journey, send this post along to them.  Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Gratitude Friday: Bloggers!

The Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ mission is only possible with the help of active members of the No Garbage Trucks!™ community.  Together we are making the world a more beautiful place!

A Special Thanks This Week

I want to say a special “thank you!” this week to some of the bloggers who are helping spread the Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ message.  They understand the importance of letting Garbage Trucks pass us by.

Erin Davis is a TV and radio personality in the Toronto area, as well as a keynote speaker.  You can hear her on 98.1 CFHI in Toronto.  Her site is www.erindavis.com.

Johan Jonck is the author of the Road Safety and Arrive Alive Blog.  You can find it here: http://roadsafety.wordpress.com/.  Johan describes the purpose of his blog this way: “I lost my mom in a car accident at the age of 2 years - and believe that even though we might not all have the money to provide funding for road safety initiatives  - we can all contribute by way of intellectual capital and the sharing of ideas, recommendations etc.”

Jim King at www.hermitjim.blogspot.com is one of the good folks who links to our blog.  He participates in our Monday Morning Momentum mission each week, and posts insightful comments on a regular basis.  We appreciate his support.

Join the Team!

I will continue to highlight the work of an active member of our No Garbage Trucks! community each week. I want to recognize all the good folks who are helping spread the Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ message.  Email me at [email protected] or Chris at [email protected] if you know of more good folks sharing our message. 

And if you are interested in re-printing one of my columns, let us know.  Thanks for your continued support and involvement!

Have A Wonderful Weekend!

Enjoy your friends and family this weekend! 

See you back here in a couple days for Monday Morning Momentum™!

Best to you,

David

Monday Morning Momentum™: Ask for Help and Keep Going to Achieve Your Dreams

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!  Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David

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Ask for Help and Keep Going to Achieve Your DreamsÓ

My 20th college reunion

Last year I returned to Yale for my twentieth college reunion. And like what happens to most people who attend reunions, I thought about my life then, and now. 

See, I am grateful for my life.  I love my wife.  I adore my girls.  I cherish my parents.  I have great friends.  My health is good.  I enjoy where I live.  I love what I do for a living.  My life is not perfect, but it is good. 

And so, as I stood on the Yale campus with my family, I thought about the lesson I had learned when I was a first-semester freshman:  When things don’t go your way, ask for help and keep going.

A very disappointing week

I learned that lesson after one of the most disappointing weeks of my life.  I was a young kid from Wisconsin – away from home for the first time – and I was trying to make it through my first semester at Yale.  And I wanted to pack my bags and head home. 

I remember the beginning of that week:  I was sitting in the front row of a large auditorium with about four hundred students sitting on the main floor, and another hundred sitting in the balcony.  As I got up to hand in my economics mid-term exam, I heard a “Whoaaaaa.”  Hundreds of students were looking up at me in awe.  I had just completed a four-hour exam in less than forty minutes.  People were blown away at how smart I must have been to have finished so fast.  And little did they know that two days later my Economics professor handed back my exam and said, “David, you scored a six out of a hundred.  That’s not very good.” 

And that was just the beginning of my week.  The next day I received my grade on my first astronomy paper.  I had better news to report.  I upped my performance from an “F” in Economics to a “D+” in Astronomy. 

And then my bad week continued on the football field.  My parents and little brother were coming from Milwaukee/city> to to watch me play football.  And during practice the day before they arrived, I made one wrong turn and tore my hamstring.  My family came to the game, but only to see me standing on the sidelines with crutches, instead of running with a football.

Finally, the week came to an end with my new girlfriend telling me, “David, I’m ‘pre-engaged’ to be married.”  Now I didn’t know what “pre-engaged” meant, but I knew it couldn’t be good.  And it wasn’t.

All this happened in one week.  And all I wanted to do was quit and head back to Wisconsin.  But I didn’t.

I needed help

I reached out for help.  I talked to my parents.  I called my friends.  I asked for their support, and they gave it to me.  When I felt like a failure, they helped me regain my confidence. 

I then paid visits to my professors.  I asked for their help, and they gave it to me.  I followed their advice: I moved up a few rows in class, and I did my homework.

And while it didn’t work out with my girlfriend, and I never became a football star in college, I did turn my grades around.  I eventually majored in Economics.  And I even graduated with the honor of carrying our college banner at graduation.

And now it’s twenty-one years later and I am grateful that I learned to ask for help when I just wanted to quit and go home. 

Ask for help

Live your best life possible:  Ask for help when you need it, and keep going to achieve your dreams.   

This Week

Think about your biggest dreams.  What are you hoping to achieve? 

Then, look hard at your progress?  How are you doing?  Where are you struggling?  What is frustrating you?  What do you need to learn?

Now, think about everyone you know.  Who could help you?

This week identify in what area you need the most help.  And choose one or two people who could assist you.  Then call or email them this week.

Remember to ask for help when you need it, and keep going to achieve your dreams.

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family, colleagues and friends to join you on your momentum journey, send this post along to them.  Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Gratitude Friday: Ladies Who Launch

The Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ mission is only possible with the help of active members of the No Garbage Trucks!™ community.  Together we are making the world a more beautiful place!

A Special Thanks This Week

I want to say a special “thank you!” this week to everyone at Ladies Who Launch.  You can find them here:  www.ladieswholaunch.com.  They are a great organization that  focuses on helping women start and successfully run their own businesses.  Their programs and resources are excellent.  Here is the Ladies Who Launch mission in their own words:

The Ladies Who Launch mission is to provide you with resources, opportunities and connections to move your dreams and businesses forward. We aim to give you more exposure for your products and services, through marketing and distribution opportunities. We also provide you with a community of like-minded women who can be your source for referrals, information, ideas and inspiration!.

I am particularly grateful to Stella Grizont, Director of Strategic Development, and Karla Lightfoot, Managing Leader of the New York City Incubator, for introducing me and the Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ message to their online community of women entrepreneurs.  They have published my column in their online magazine.  You can find it here: http://www.ladieswholaunch.com/magazine/trash-the-garbage-launch-with-love/1552

Join the Team!

I will continue to highlight the work of an active member of our No Garbage Trucks! community each week. I want to recognize all the good folks who are helping spread the Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ message.  Email me at [email protected] or Chris at [email protected] if you know of more good folks sharing our message. 

And if you are interested in re-printing one of my columns, let us know. 

Thanks for your continued support and involvement!

Have A Wonderful Weekend!

Enjoy your friends and family this weekend! 

See you back here in a couple days for Monday Morning Momentum™!

Best to you,

David

Monday Morning Momentum™: Don’t Let the Peanuts Run Your Life

                               

Welcome to Monday Morning Momentum!  Each Monday I lay out a simple momentum plan for you to follow: I help you focus on one thing each week that will increase your momentum in your career, business, and life.  Thanks for being here!  Best to you, David 

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Don’t Let the Peanuts Run Your Life Ó                                                                                                        

I love peanuts

I love peanuts.  I like them salted or unsalted.  I like them sweet or savory.  You can put them in my dinner or in my dessert.  I never met a peanut I didn’t like.  It is a joy to eat peanuts!

It’s also a challenge to eat peanuts.  Peanuts pack a caloric punch.  Too many peanuts per day and you have to loosen your belt.  One day I decided to reduce my peanut intake.  I resolved not to eat peanuts after dinner, or for a late night snack. 

I tried not to eat peanuts

So, the next night I had dinner.  And sure enough, I had a thought to eat some peanuts.  But I reminded myself that I had decided not to eat peanuts.  So I did not eat peanuts. 

And then it happened.  An hour later I was standing in my kitchen with salt on my lips, peanuts in my mouth, and another load ready to go.  But, I did not remember opening the cabinet, reaching down to the bottom shelf, grabbing the peanut jar – okay, the peanut tub – and putting a handful of delicious peanuts in my mouth.  It was only after I stuck my hand in the tub of peanuts a second time I thought, “Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  How did this happen?  How did I end up here?!” 

The unconscious mind

Psychology researcher Jonathan Haidt of the University of Virginia explains this phenomenon with a metaphor he calls the “Rider and the Elephant.”  In his book The Happiness Hypothesis, and in his earlier research papers, Haidt described how the “rider” is our conscious mind, and the “elephant” is our unconscious mind.  We are constantly trying to guide our body and thoughts in the direction we want them to go.  The challenge is, as Haidt’s metaphor illustrates, when an elephant is determined to go somewhere, it will, rider in tow.

The challenge of change

Now take my peanut example to another level.  What if you want to change something important in your life?  If you decide that you are going to do something differently, but you are not aware of what is happening below the surface, in your unconscious, how will you succeed?  The answer is “you won’t.” 

Haidt warns, “The rider can’t just decide to change and then order the elephant to go along with the program.  Lasting change can come only by retraining the elephant, and that’s hard to do.”  The key to achieving new and important things in your life is to find out what is unconsciously limiting you and then replace it with a belief that will enable your success. 

Uncovering your beliefs

Your most potent levers of sustainable change are your beliefs.  Uncover your beliefs and you will find out why you do what you do.  You will learn more about your “elephant.”

This week

So here’s one approach to drawing out your beliefs.  This week start by identifying an important and big goal in your life and how soon you would like to reach it.  Make sure this goal would change your life dramatically if you achieved it. 

Now grab a pen and answer these questions. 

(1)    What will I gain if I achieve my goal? 

(2)    What will I have to do to accomplish my goal? 

(3)    What will I have to give up to reach my goal? 

(4)    What will happen if I fail to meet my goal?

Start each of your answers with “I believe I…” to help elicit your beliefs.  Now look at your answers.  These are some of the beliefs you hold relative to your goal. 

The question, then, is which of these beliefs will help you achieve your goal and which ones will hold you back. 

Your success in life depends on your ability to uncover and change your limiting beliefs to those that will fire you up and bring out your greatness.

Don’t let the peanuts run your life. 

Invite Your Family and Friends to Join You

And if you want your family, colleagues and friends to join you on your momentum journey, send this post along to them.  Have a great week, and let me know how it goes!

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Monthly Momentum Minutesä, right here.

Gratitude Friday: Positive Psychology News Daily

The Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ mission is made possible by all of you, our No Garbage Trucks!™ community members.  As we all commit to let more Garbage Trucks pass us by, and to not spread garbage to others, we make the world a more beautiful place!

A Special Thanks This Week

This week I want to thank my friend, Senia Maymin, the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief of Positive Psychology News Daily.  Positive Psychology News Daily is a great place to read the cutting-edge work coming out of the field of positive psychology.  Authors explore ideas in their posts, and readers respond with their insightful comments, making this a great resource for anyone interested in the science of positive psychology, or happiness in general. 

You can read my post on the second of each month.  You will find my posts here.  My post last year about The Law of the Garbage Truck™ drew tremendous traffic and a record number of comments.  I am grateful to Senia and Positive Psychology News Daily for helping spread the No Garbage Trucks! message.

Here’s how Senia describes Positive Psychology News Daily:

Positive Psychology News Daily provides the latest news about happiness, the “science of happiness,” and Positive Psychology. Our goal is to be your fun, collaborative place for a research-based daily boost of happiness.

Positive Psychology News Daily is authored by graduates of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania and by guest authors.

In writing about positive psychology, we are strongly influenced by some of the wonderful speakers at the MAPP program, and by other positive psychology, psychology, sociology, neurobiology, computer science, and other researchers whose work we highlight on this daily news site. Here’s a list of all current authors.

Kathryn Britton also does a great job as the Associate Editor of the site.

Join the Team!

If you see or hear someone spreading the Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ message, email [email protected].  I will continue to highlight an active member of our community each week.

Have A Wonderful Weekend!

Enjoy your friends and family this weekend!  See you back here in a couple days for Monday Morning Momentum™!