David J. Pollay's Blog

The Key: Do It With a Smile

A lot of us say we want to make the world better.

We want to improve our workplaces.

We want to improve our relationships.

We want to improve our lives.

The question is can we do it with a smile?

Think Nelson Mandela.

What do you see?

A big smile is what most of us see.

 

No one has been more intense in his mission than Nelson Mandela, but he still knows how to smile.  We can be committed to our goals, and still be happy.  We can smile. 

The next time you talk about the mission you're on, try to talk about it with a smile.

Try it.  Notice how you feel. 

See how you impact the people you talk to. 

I'm David J. Pollay.  I wrote The Law of the Garbage Truck to help people become happier and make the world a better place.  

Three Questions that Matter. Here’s #2.

There are 3 questions that I recommend we ask each other when we want to spark meaningful and insightful conversations in our families. 

Here was my First Question.  Today, we’ll look at Question #2.

Question #2

“What was the ‘top’ of your day?” 

We know from Psychology that our experience in life is based on where we focus our attention.  We want to give our children an opportunity to recall something positive in their day.  Make sure to explain that the “top” of their day is a time when they were most satisfied, challenged, happy, or having fun. 

You can use this additional question to learn even more about what excites your children:  “Why was that the top of your day?”

(Note: These questions are just as great for adults, and they are particularly interesting questions to ask around the holidays.)

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As always, when you have time, let me know how you’re doing.  And remember to share your stories with me.

Best to you,

David

p.s. Remember to keep sending me your stories about how you are applying The Law of the Garbage Truck™ to your lives, families, and businesses.  Email me at [email protected].

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David J. Pollay is the creator of The Law of the Garbage Truck™.  He is a syndicated columnist, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ television program, and an internationally sought after speaker.  David’s book The Law of the Garbage Truck: Take control of your life with one decision and change the world will be published by Sterling Publishing (a Barnes & Noble company) in September, 2010.  You can find out more about The Law of the Garbage Truck™ at www.thelawofthegarbagetruck.com.

David holds a Master’s degree of applied positive psychology (M.A.P.P.) from the University of Pennsylvania, and a Bachelor’s degree in economics from Yale University.  He is the founding associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association.  You can catch David’s newsletter here.  You can reach him at [email protected], and you can read David’s blog at www.pollayblog.com.

Are You Laughing? Part III

I hope your weekend is going great! 

Here’s the third post in our series on the importance of laughter in our lives.   Here’s part one.  Here’s part two.

Part Three

Heidi Goff, President and Managing Director of The Americas for Hypercom Corporation, and my boss when I was a director at MasterCard in the mid 1990s, has the ability to get the most out of a business meeting.  Heidi does all that you might expect from a successful senior executive—she’s clear on the focus of her meetings, she communicates what’s expected of everyone, and she listens carefully and speaks with purpose. 

Heidi also has the unique ability to inject humor so that people stay relaxed, creative and open-minded.  She knows when a good laugh or light-hearted comment will release tension in the room.

“In my own research with executives,” says Dachter Keltner in his book, Born to Be Good, “laughter early in negotiations—the product of break-the-ice banter about families, travel mishaps, hotel rooms, golf games, and the like—sets the stage for mutually beneficial bargaining.” 

Humor is good for business.

This week: 

Take a moment to think about your business or organization.  How could you inject some more humor into your relationships with your customers, suppliers, partners, and coworkers? 

As always, let me know how you’re doing when you have time.  And remember to share your stories with me.

Best to you,

David

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Momentum Minutes™, right here.

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David J. Pollay is the creator of The Law of the Garbage Truck™.  He is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ television program, and an internationally sought after speaker.  David’s book, The Law of the Garbage Truck™, is due out next year.  You can find out about the No Garbage Trucks! mission at www.thelawofthegarbagetruck.com.

David holds a master’s degree of applied positive psychology (M.A.P.P.) from the University of Pennsylvania, and a bachelor’s degree in economics from Yale University.  He is the founding associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association.

7 Reasons for “Positive Updates”

Monday Morning Momentum™

The most common way of getting people to share ideas is to hold a meeting.  We’ve all attended hundreds, if not thousands, of meetings. 

But, here’s the problem.  Let me demonstrate it.  Pretend the following statement applies to you right now. 

“You have to go to a meeting.” 

Okay.  How are you feeling?  What are you thinking?  If you’re like most people, you’re not happy.  You might have said to yourself, “Oh no.  I just want to get my work done.”  “Or, why do I have to sit in another meeting.” “Or, this is going to be a waste of time.”  If this is how you feel, how do you think other people feel?  This is what you’re up against when you ask people to come to your meeting.

Most people come to meetings in the mood of the last call they had, email they read, meeting they attended, or interaction they had with someone.  Their moods and attention are basically tied up in other things.

The key is to get everyone focused on the expected outcomes of your meeting.  So you have to do something different.  I’ll share with you what I’ve been doing for years with my team meetings.  It will not cure people’s fear or dread of meetings, but it will help you get your meetings off to a good start every time.  Begin your meetings with what I call “positive updates.”

Here’s how to do it.  If the group is eight or less (I’ll talk about big groups in another column), ask them all to share one positive or important thing that happened to them since the last time you met.  (I include “important” because it leaves open the possibility for someone to mention an event that might not be categorized as positive, but is obviously important to them.) It can be personal or professional.  It can be something they’re excited about, proud of, or interested in.  Tell them they have thirty seconds to give their update.  Then go around the room sharing positive updates. Encourage quick reactions from everyone in the group, but ask that extended responses be shared after the meeting.

Why should you open your meetings with this strategy?  Here are my “7 Reasons for Positive Updates”:

(1)   You are channeling your team members’ attention. You are engaging them with your request. 

(2)   You are reminding them to keep track of what’s good in their lives, not just what’s wrong. 

(3)   You are helping them access their positive emotions. When they recall something good that happened in their lives, they are likely to feel pride, excitement, gratitude, enthusiasm, encouragement, or optimism.  The research of Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., at the University of North Carolina demonstrates how experiencing positive emotions is critical for success in business and life. 

(4)   You are learning about your team members.  You are opening a window into what matters to them and what makes them unique.  What do they focus on? What makes them happy? When do they succeed?

(5)   You get insight into what they like to do and what they’re good at doing.  You can look for more opportunities for them to do what they do well. 

(6)   You’ll know how to better recognize your people.  You’ll find out what matters to them in their short updates.  Rather than giving them some formulaic recognition award, you can tailor your gratitude to their interests. 

(7)   You’ll give your team members the opportunity to learn more about each other.  You’ll provide the opening for teammates to talk about each others’ interests and what matters to them. 

All of this happens in ten minutes or less.  The great thing is that you don’t have to come up with a big entertaining way to start every meeting.  Just ask people to tell each other something positive or important.  They’ll share.  Team members will listen.  Everyone will be engaged.

Still thinking if you should do this?  Stop for a second.  Write down one positive thing that happened to you over the past week.  Take a minute and think of one.  Do it now.  Write it down.  Then email me what you wrote ([email protected]).  I’ll bet you feel pretty good right now.  You might even be ready for a meeting.

Copyright 2009 David J. Pollay

Invite your family and friends to join you

If you want your family, friends, and colleagues to join us on our Monday Morning Momentum™ journey, send this post along to them. 

Have a great week! 

Best to you,

David

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Sign up

And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Momentum Minutes™, right here.

---------------------------------------------------------

David J. Pollay is the creator of The Law of the Garbage Truck™.  He is a syndicated columnist with North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ television program, and an internationally sought after speaker.  David’s book, The Law of the Garbage Truck™, is due out this summer.  You can find out about the No Garbage Trucks! mission at www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com.

David is the founder and president of the consulting and seminar organization, The Momentum Project.  He is also a founding associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA).  If you want to reprint one of David’s columns, email [email protected].  Here’s David’s full bio. 

You can sign up for David’s MO Minutes Newsletter here.

The “Five Fs” of Customer Care

Monday Morning Momentum™

Do you know the values of your organization?  Can you articulate them?  Are they memorable? 

When I joined Yahoo! in 1998 as Yahoo!’s first director of Customer Care, I realized the importance of being able to answer “yes” to these three questions.  Why?  The values we hold drive the decisions we make.

Yahoo! had 50 million customers when I started.  Thousands more were joining every day.  We were launching new products, services, and features every week.  Yet we had only a handful of employees dedicated to customer service and almost no customer support infrastructure.  We had a lot to do in a short period of time.  The question was where to begin. 

For us it began with deciding what was most important to us:  What were our values?  If we could be clear on what we stood for, all the required staffing, training, technology, and service program decisions would be made easier.  Our strategies and tactics would be grounded in the type of organization we were committed to building. 

So we launched “The Five Fs” of Customer Care.  As you can guess, the “Five Fs” were five words that all started with the letter “F.”  We wanted them to be memorable.  We wanted everyone to know them.  Here they are:

"Friendly, Fast, Focused, Fired-Up, and Fun!" 

Our Five F message was always the same:  

(1) We were “friendly” to our customers, to each other, and to everyone else at Yahoo!.  People wanted to work with us. 

(2) We were “fast” at resolving customer problems and internal issues.  Our team was quick, and so was our email and phone support technology. 

(3) We were “focused” on our priorities.  Our goals, plans, and reports kept us on track. 

(4) We were “fired up.”  We had plenty of energy to give our best every day.  We’d work all night if we needed to meet a challenge. 

(5) We were “fun!”  People enjoyed working with us.  We worked and played together.  We had a recreation team to plan team events.  We kept our work environment enjoyable.

And then we had our “Bonus F”:  “Flexible.”  We made sure everyone knew that we were capable of responding to whatever Yahoo! needed us to do.  We welcomed the opportunity to support new products and services.

Huston Smith, author of The Religions of Man, discusses the challenge of developing a “deliberate tradition” of values in any society.  “A people must first decide what values are important to their collective well-being,” wrote Smith.  “Then every device of education, formal and informal, should be turned to seeing that these values are internalized as far as possible by everyone.”

Everyone we interviewed learned The Five Fs.  Every time we gave a tour we explained The Five Fs.  When we spoke during Yahoo!’s new-hire orientation program, we presented The Five Fs. 

Bill George, former CEO of Medtronic, talks about the importance of having clearly understood values in an organization.  In his book, Authentic Leadership, George wrote:  “Values have to be discussed at every opportunity, constantly reinforced, and consistently reflected in the actions of management at all levels.” 

Our Five Fs were a guide for what we said and did.  Of course there were plenty of days when we did not meet our own expectations, but our focus on our Five F values made sure our backsliding didn’t last long.  Our Five Fs were our identity.  We were committed to living them.

How about your organization?  What values are driving your business? 

 

Copyright 2009 David J. Pollay

Invite your family and friends to join you

If you want your family, friends, and colleagues to join us on our Monday Morning Momentum™ journey, send this post along to them. 

Have a great week! 

Best to you,

David

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Sign up

And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Momentum Minutes™, right here.

---------------------------------------------------------

David J. Pollay is the creator of The Law of the Garbage Truck™.  He is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ television program, and an internationally sought after speaker.  David’s book, Beware of Garbage Trucks!™, is due out this summer. 

David is the founder and president of the consulting and seminar organization, The Momentum Project.  He is also a founding associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA).  If you want to reprint one of David’s columns, email [email protected].  Here’s David’s full bio.

 

The Law of the Narrator

Monday Morning Momentum™ with David J. Pollay – April 13, 2009

 

There was a hum of conversation as the audience settled in.  The band members quietly took their places on a dimly lit stage.  The theatre operator brought the lights down.  The audience grew quiet in anticipation.  The emcee entered stage left; the spotlight followed him.  The audience welcomed him with applause. 

 

The drummer started a quiet drum roll.  The emcee began speaking in a Charlton Heston-like voice.  He mesmerized the audience with a story of accomplishment and adventure:  he told us about the act we were about to see.  The drummer and emcee engaged in a choreographed dance of excitement:  the drum roll matched the words as they came out faster, with more energy, and with the power of anticipation that a great event was about to take place.  And all at once, the emcee called out their names, the band started playing, the act entered stage right, the spotlight swung over to meet them, the audience erupted in applause, and the singers launched into their first song in full voice.

 

I saw this introduction many times.  And each time my parents would come on stage, standing tall, walking confidently, chest out, arms extended, and smiling with the majesty of a king and queen.  The stage was their castle and the theatre their kingdom.  The audience believed they were in for a magnificent journey.  And so did my parents.  They were ready to perform.

 

It was during these years that I learned the power of words and music in setting the stage for greatness.  When my parents listened to the emcee introduce them, they focused on their mission.  The words and music they heard centered their attention.  They believed in themselves, and they were committed to giving their best performance. 

 

All great performers, athletes, and leaders are introduced in a similarly powerful way.  The audience and the performer are made to share a powerful narrative that what they are about to experience is going to be spectacular. 

 

Over the years I have learned a critical secret to success.  I call it “The Law of the Narrator.”  Here it is:  The voice that narrates our life determines our success.

 

Our life is not a silent movie.  It is one that is narrated every moment of the day.  Sometimes our narrator is an emcee, a host, or an announcer.  But, most of the time the voice is ours.  We are introducing our every activity and narrating our every move consciously and unconsciously. 

 

Just think for a moment about today.  What have you been saying to yourself?  What words have you been using?  If you were repeating, “I’m tired,” “I don’t feel like doing that,” or “I’m worried,” you have limited your ability to perform at your best.  But if you said instead, “I’m excited,” “I’m ready,” and “I can,” you have engaged some of your best energy to support you.  The bottom line is that The Law of the Narrator is always in play.

 

Throughout each day we have an opportunity to choose our narrators.  And we determine what they say and how they say it.  When we wake up, see our loved ones, face a challenge, start a project, encounter a problem, work on a task, and see an opportunity, we have a chance to narrate our story in a powerful way.  We get to choose the words and soundtrack of our lives.  Our mind sets the stage for our performance. 

 

So, the next time you begin something important in your life, bring out your best narrator.  Cue the band, turn on the spotlight, listen to the emcee’s introduction, hear the audience applaud, and enter in full voice.

It’s your stage; bring down the house.

 

Copyright 2009 David J. Pollay

 

Invite your family and friends to join you

 

If you want your family, friends, and colleagues to join us on our Monday Morning Momentum™ journey, send this post along to them. 

 

Have a great week! 

 

Best to you,

David

 

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And remember you can sign up for my newsletter, Momentum Minutes™, right here.

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David J. Pollay is the creator of The Law of the Garbage Truck™.  He is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ television program, and an internationally sought after speaker.  David’s book, Beware of Garbage Trucks!™, is due out this summer. 

 

David is the founder and president of the consulting and seminar organization, The Momentum Project.  He is also a founding associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA).  If you want to reprint one of David’s columns, email [email protected].  Here’s David’s full bio.

Even in Tragedy: The Power of Positive Triggers

Even in Tragedy: The Power of Positive Triggers

You know my “Sticker Story” (Read it here if you don’t.)  You understand the power of positive emotion: It can help you in most every circumstance in life, even in tragedy.

A Brave Example

In a New York Times article, “Survivors In China Sift Rubble for the Past,” Edward Wong wrote about the survivors of the Chinese earthquake and how they were trying to piece their lives back together.  He wrote:

Sang Yuping spreads out a half-dozen photographs on a mattress in the tent that was given to her by the government.  Across the road lie the remains of her one-story home.  Long wooden planks protrude from the pile at every angle like whale bones.

There on the mattress is a photo of her daughter, her son and his wife.  It is April. They are smiling and dressed in Tibetan robes and dancing at a festival at a primary school here, weeks before the school is to collapse and kill most of the children inside.

“This is the thing I was happiest to see,” said Ms. Sang, 54, a corn and soybean farmer.  “I lost everything in the earthquake, and when I found these photos, I felt better.  Because from these photos, I can see what life was like before the earthquake.”

She added, “I look at these photos when I’m sad.”

In the aftermath of a horrific tragedy that no one should ever have to face, Sang Yuping teaches us again about the power of what I call “Positive Triggers.”  Her brave example reminds us that there is always something available to us to help give us courage and lift our spirits.

What Are Your Positive Triggers?

What positive triggers do you have available to you to help you make it through the worst of times and to thrive during the best of times?  Use Positive Triggers everyday to help you live your best possible life.

My prayers are with Sang Yuping and with all those that are suffering around the world.

My “Sticker Story” on YouTube

Do you know my “Sticker Story?”  I tell this story in my speeches and seminars to help people understand the power of positive emotion in their lives. 

Recently I told the story in an interview on the Google/YouTube news program, The Watercooler Diaries.  The show is hosted by Kate Bohner, a former CNBC Journalist and co-author with Donald Trump of the best-selling book, The Art of the Comeback.  Kate did a two-part series on The Momentum Project and my work.  The program is just about 4 minutes long.

You can watch Part I here.

Let me know what you think.  And if you’d like to post a comment and rate Kate’s program, click here.

P.S.  You can read my original Sticker Story and the Power of Positive Emotion here.  Make sure to tell me if you need some stickers!  Have a wonderful day!

Baby Crying on a Plane? Turn a Negative to a Positive.©

The plane was full. My seat was 22C. To my surprise there was no one beside me and no one behind me. I felt like I had won the lottery of airplane seating. You know the feeling. You can spread out. You can recline without bothering anyone. You can even use two tray tables!

I was flying to Chicago to present one of my corporate seminars. I needed to concentrate on reviewing my program. The peace and quiet would be great. I immediately opened my bag and began to work. The flight attendants were readying the plane for takeoff when it happened.

“You’re in 23C,” I heard a flight attendant say. And just as I looked up I heard the increasingly loud cries of a baby. A mother and her upset baby girl were coming my way. Right behind me was the seat 23C.

Five minutes later the baby’s cry turned into a wail and her little legs were kicking my seat. I couldn't work with such distraction.

There were no answers to my questions: “Why does the little girl have to kick my seat? Isn’t there a way to stop the baby from crying? And why of all places on the plane do they have to sit right behind me!?” I started searching for what I could say, or what I should do. There was nowhere for me to go.

When Your Road Turns Negative Create a Fork in Your Path

Then I smiled. I realized I actually had a choice. I could either see the situation as a dead-end negative, or I could see the situation in another way. I could find another road out and take it. And I did. In that moment I found another way to look at the situation.

I now call it “my fork.”

I thought of my own children. I started to laugh when I thought that Eliana, 4, and Ariela, 3, had done their share of crying and seat-kicking in airplanes, as hard as we tried to stop it! So I turned the baby’s crying and seat-kicking into a reminder that I have two wonderful little girls of my own. Each time the little girl cried or kicked my seat, I felt grateful for my daughters.

Sure I would have preferred the flight to be quieter, but guess what? I was able to work because I became quieter inside. I replaced the negative emotion I was feeling with gratitude for my own children. Psychologist Barbara Frederickson at the University of North Carolina observed how inducing positive emotions in people following a negative experience loosens the vice grip that the negative event holds psychologically. She also found that people bounced back faster physiologically — their cardiovascular activity slowed.

When we landed in Chicago I stood up and turned to look at the mother and her child. She smiled a little nervously at me and started to apologize for her daughter’s crying. I stopped her. I pulled out my wallet, opened it, and handed it to her. I pointed to the picture of my two little red-headed daughters. I said, “These are my little girls. They’re wonderful. And they cry too. Your daughter is beautiful. Congratulations.” She smiled and said, “Thank you.” I smiled and left the plane feeling good (something I wouldn't have thought possible when the crying and kicking began).

So the next time a situation seems to be a frustrating dead-end, ask yourself, “What’s my fork?” There’s almost always another road you can take.

David J. Pollay is the author of “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™ (www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com).” His book, The Law of the Garbage Truck™, is due out this summer, and you can read his blog each week. Mr. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ DVD and television program, an internationally sought after speaker, founder and president of The Momentum Project.

I Got Stickered!™ Strategy

Hi Everyone,
I recently wrote that there are times when a Garbage Truck is so big it is hard for you to get out of the way. And so you might get hit, or at least grazed by a Garbage Truck.

Here is my strategy for a quick recovery. Enjoy it!

And let me know what your “Stickers” are. What are your Positive Triggers™?

My best to you,
David

Let Positive Triggers™ Turn on Your Best Self ©
copyright 2007 David J. Pollay
One day last year I was sitting in my office, by myself, and I wasn’t feeling good. Yes, it’s true. I research, write and speak about Positive Psychology, but I admit it, I wasn’t having a good day.

Here’s my first question: Where do you look when you’re feeling bad? Most of us look down. And that’s what I was doing in my office; I was looking down at the floor. And then I started laughing! I realized that Ariela and Eliana, my 2 and 3 year old little girls, had put stickers all over my shoes. Somehow they slipped them on when I was kissing my wife Dawn goodbye before I left the house that morning. Just thinking about my little girls slipping stickers on my shoes without my knowing made me laugh. But then I laughed even harder when I thought, “Where had I been all morning with stickers stuck all over my shoes?!” It was at that moment I got it.

The stickers my little girls had put on my shoes were a Positive Trigger™ for me. They instantly made me feel good. So here's my second question: Where do you look when you're feeling good? You look up! And that's what I did in my office; I looked up and my day was reset. I had a second chance to make my day a good one. I was experiencing positive emotion.

Research studies from around the world have confirmed the power of positive emotion. Positive psychology researcher Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina, best known for her “Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotion,” found in her research that positive emotions widen your attention, they increase your intuition, and they increase your resilience to adversity.

Alice Isen, a psychology researcher at Cornell University, demonstrated that when you experience positive emotion, you are more kind, generous, and helpful. Isen also found that you’re more creative and better able to solve problems requiring “ingenuity and innovation.”

Neuropsychology researcher at the University of Wisconsin, Richard Davidson, discovered that positive emotions help boost your immune system. And at least three studies have shown that there is a strong connection between a longer life and experiencing frequent positive emotion.

Here's my takeaway. If you are being chased by a bear in the forest, you should feel plenty of negative emotion! As my grandmother used to say, "Run like the dickens!" Otherwise, positive emotions help you think better and they help you build better relationships with others. People prefer to be around curious and creative people, more than around people who always seem to be running away from bears! And I’ll bet, if you ask the people in your life, they’ll tell you that when you’re experiencing positive emotion, you do better work, you’re a better leader, you’re a better spouse, and you’re a better friend. I know that I’m a better dad to two little girls when I’m experiencing positive emotion.

So, what are your positive triggers? What makes you smile? What makes you laugh? What puts you in a creative mood? What triggers your passion, excitement, and hope? For some of us it's looking at pictures of our loved ones. Some of us listen to a favorite song. Others go for a quick walk, or do a little dance. Some read a short, funny story. Others remind themselves of their goals. Take a moment to think about the things that trigger your positive emotions.

Think of it this way. When you enter a dark room, what do you do? You reach for the light switch. Because you know when you flip it, just like that, you’ll have light. So what's your light switch? What turns on your positive emotions? What positive triggers will help you look up when you're feeling down?

Need some stickers? 

David J. Pollay is the author of “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™. Visit www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com to join the No Garbage Trucks! Revolution. His book, The Law of the Garbage Truck™, is due out this summer. Mr. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with North Star Writers Group, creator and host of “The Happiness Answer™” television program, an internationally sought after speaker and seminar leader, and the founder and president of TheMomentumProject.com.