Monday Morning Momentum
My
four-year old daughter and I were walking through a nature preserve last year
when she stopped, turned around, and looked right up at me and said, “Papi,
what did you say?”
I said, “Ah,
nothing sweetie.”
“But Papi,
I heard you say something.”
“Oh,
Eliana, I must have been talking to myself.”
And then
she asked me the big question, “Papi, why were you talking to yourself?”
Why was I
talking to myself? That was a great
question. I didn’t know. I didn’t even know that I was doing it!
While you might be smiling right now, you know you do it
too. We all do it. If you don’t believe me, try this quick
exercise.
Take a
quick break and email me what you have read so far in this column. You can reach me at [email protected]. Okay?
Stop! Now what are you saying to yourself? “Why is he asking me to do this? I don’t have time right now. I don’t do exercises. I’m not emailing a columnist.” That’s all self-talk. As I said, we all do it. Everybody does.
And we talk
fast. We speak out loud at approximately
200 words per minute. Yet we speak to
ourselves at more than 1,300 words per minute.
At this rate we might have over 45,000 thoughts per day. The problem is that many of these thoughts
aren’t helpful.
What does
this mean for us? Roy Baumeister, a
leading Psychology researcher from Florida State University,
has found in his research that people remember bad events more often than good
events. So if we are more likely to remember
the bad stuff, and we talk to ourselves at an incredible speed, how much of
what we say to ourselves helps us live a better life? Are we more successful, and are we happier?
15 years
ago my grandfather taught me that the answer can be “yes” if we choose what to
say to ourselves.
I was
visiting my grandfather in his home in Augusta, Maine. We called him Bumpa. He was 86. Bumpa was having a rough morning; he was not
feeling well. He had a right to feel
bad; he was a survivor of three major strokes.
That
morning I walked down the short hallway from the guest bedroom to the kitchen. I stopped when I heard his voice. I slowly peeked around the corner and I saw
him sitting in his rocking chair. He was
staring at his legs as he was saying, “Legs don’t fail me now. You can do it. You’ve always been strong. I have a lot to do. Let’s go legs. I’m getting up.”
Thirty
minutes later Bumpa was outside in his backyard chopping wood. Here was a man the doctors thought we had lost
three times. He lived to be 90 years
old.
My
grandfather taught me the power of self-talk.
I’m at my
best when I think about all the support I have, the strengths I have been
given, the successes I’ve had, and the goals I have now. I’m at my best when I choose what to think
about.
And it was
my four-year old daughter’s question that reminded me to choose the self-talk
that will help me to live my best possible life. Eliana also helped me remember how much I
loved and admired my grandfather.
Copyright
2009 David J. Pollay
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Have a
great week!
Best to
you,
David
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David J. Pollay
is the creator of The Law of the Garbage
Truck™. He is a
syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group,
creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ television program, and an
internationally sought after speaker.
David’s book, The Law of
the Garbage Truck™, is due out later this year. You can find out about the No Garbage Trucks!
mission at www.thelawofthegarbagetruck.com.
David is the founder and president of the
consulting and seminar organization, The Momentum Project. He is also a founding associate executive
director of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA).
If you want to reprint one of David’s columns, email [email protected]. Here’s David’s full bio.
You can sign
up for David’s MO Minutes Newsletter here.
You can find out more about The Law of the Garbage Truck here. 
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